There's some that say "What they don't know won't hurt them", and firmly believe them to be words to live by. These are typically the type of people to also entertain the "its not cheating if ...." scenarios. For the person on the receiving end of that equation however, it will ALWAYS feels like absolute betrayal. A good rule of thumb to consider is; if you have to question it, it's probably wrong.
Another very effective, yet rarely executed concept involves taking a moment to put yourself in your partner's shoes. Put some real thought into how you would feel, or handle the situation if it was happening to you. Chances are that you'd rather swallow razor blades than to feel that kind of hurt. To make matters worse; along with the lie or omission, comes broken trust. There will always be a level of mistrust going forward, even if they are able to forgive you. Again, very few people consider the effects of their behavior because they can't see past their own selfish wants.
While everyone has their own ideas about what is or isn't deception; unless a mental deficit is the cause, people are aware that their actions could potentially be hurtful. That is the sole reason after all, that a person lies about or hides the truth. Guilt is an uncomfortable feeling and naturally we as humans would rather not have to feel it. So lying seems a much easier, more viable option. The problem then becomes trying to keep up the lie and remember exactly how it was told, which is by no means an easy task. Our brains are capable of storing information to memory as they happen. We can recall long term information as it was remembered fairly easily. However, a lie about the same occurrence, will not readily be recalled because the brain has already stored the real facts. Only if the lie is repetitively told will it be processed as a new memory. It is like tricking your brain into believing your own lie. Still, there will always be a level of awareness of the true facts and your body will automatically react to it. Thus the reason that a polygraph can detect an elevated heart rate and other involuntary reactions.
In the end, it boils down to the moral integrity of the individual. In regard to infidelity therefore, some rationalize the behavior by minimizing or convincing themselves that it's not wrong. While others view it on the opposite end of the spectrum. Some people feel that any thing that is not sex, is not cheating. While the rest agree that cheating does not have to be sex; and that if you have to delete messages on your phone to hide them from your partner, you're already there. I find the latter to be wise words indeed, deception at any level is betrayal just the same. So the question remains; is omission of the truth the same as lying? I'm going to go with a unanimous yes. What do you think?
