Just the other day as I was driving home, I called up a friend in order to pass the time I spent in traffic. Our conversation jumped from weekend recaps to wedding planning to arts and crafts and finally made its way around to the subject of growing up. At the age of eighteen, I think that's a subject that is almost impossible to avoid in every conversation. It can be your long lost relative wanting to know where you are going to school and what your four-year plan is or it can be the first world problem of having to make your own doctors appointment, either way, it's bound to happen. However, every time I have this conversation I feel that every adult has a different and contradictory opinion. For some things I am “obviously” old enough to do and for others I am not. This makes it confusing. Why is it that adult's support is so openly offered when it benefits the person but not when it is something that will propel only you forward?
Your journey into adulthood begins the day you turn eighteen and more so the day you graduate high school. Like the Facebook meme says “you are expected to become a full grown adult just days after you had to raise your hand and ask permission to go to the bathroom”. This idea makes no sense but perfectly explains the shocking transition everyone makes in life. At the beginning we all make mistakes, some of us what appear like devastating mistakes, however, everyone has that time in which we find ourselves. It is very difficult to be comfortable with that idea and the idea that we are always growing and changing but, it is something we must do. Yet, I find it difficult to remind my parents and relatives that they once experienced that same self-discovery.
For many things such as scheduling doctors appointments, standing up to people, being mature, and many other boring tasks society seems to be beyond eager to force me to do. However, if I decide to be a girl living alone in a big city, sit in on an “adult conversation”, discuss finances, or even take a sip of their glass of wine I suddenly become too young to do any of the above. Furthermore, if I do dare and do something I am “not old enough” I lack all the support I need to face the difficult adjustment that is inevitable. I am in no way saying I am not supported because I have plenty of people that believe in me and that I can count on for some motivation. What I am saying is that when the going gets tough and I step out of my comfort zone, I do not want negativity. If I am going to do some growing up which is certain, it would be less confusing if everyone helped me out. Instead of speculating that I won't do it right, using that learning period after graduation as a measurement tool that counts how successful I am as an adult, or simply telling me that I can not do it. I believe its best to explain to me the struggles I will face and give me the alternatives, however, still supporting my choices. I believe that we are all constantly growing and coming into adulthood more and more every day therefore, we can not use a previous experience to judge a modern day one. I believe that the only time we should speculate one's actions is when they have given us a reason to distrust them. What my way of support does is it simplifies the complicated idea of growing up because instead of telling me I'm too young or not ready you are telling me I have to do it but you have my back if I fall. This makes growing up a lot easier. Through this method I do not find myself torn between growing up in ways that I am forced to because it's what society finds convenient and defying what I am told by independently standing in a ring of fire (to be honest it is much harder to stand in the ring of fire alone no matter how positive that life change might be).
Deciding whether or not to grow up is a decision I often struggle to make because I lack the self-confidence that comes with believing in my choices. Yet, I do believe in myself when I say that growing up will only get easier for future generations if we believe in them too. The result of my phone conversation with my friend ended with an iconic line that goes as follows, “I do not get it when people say they want to stay young” I knew I had to decide to grow up or not grow up?
