You probably feel alone, like no one can possibly know how you're feeling because you're the only one. You feel weird and like there's something wrong with you. But you're not the only one because I'm just like you. We care too much, we love too hard, and we worry a lot.
We care about the people we love and just want them to be happy. We want John who is in love with Sarah to finally ask her out. She'll say yes and they'll live happily ever after. We want Katie who is so amazingly talented and wonderful to land her big break in LA. We want Max who wants to be a film star to be on the big screen one day. We want our friends' dreams to come true and we will do whatever we can to help them with it. Whether that means watching their movies, listening to them sing, helping them with pick-up lines, voting for them, whatever it takes to help them succeed. When they don't succeed we can get mad. How on earth could whoever was in charge of this choice not pick our friends?! Do they not see how amazing they are? Do they not see how talented they are? Was this rigged from the start? People, sometimes even our friends who were the ones turned down, don't understand why we're so upset. It's just because we care so much for them and know how much they want to succeed at their task. Sometimes we think they care about us as much as we care about them. So when they don't, or don't show it in the same way we do, we get let down.
We love too hard. We've been called
weird, psycho, or maybe clingy. We've been told things like “Why do
you always say I love you?” “Quit treating me like I'm your boyfriend," “You're suffocating me.” We have so much love in
our hearts and we're constantly saying it. I love you. Almost all the
time we don't mean to be over bearing, act like a girlfriend, or act
like a mother. It just happens. We get upset when they don't return
our love verbally or just in general. Nothing is harder than saying
“I love you” to someone, no matter who it is, and not hearing it
back. I love you is such a special phrase to us even though we say it
all the time because we mean it with our full hearts every time. Some
people think we overuse it. Some people think it should only be said
to family or a girlfriend/boyfriend. Those people don't understand how
we think even a little bit. We need the people we love to know we
love them.
We worry a lot. In fact we worry about everything. Everything.
When something is due, when someone looks at us, if someone doesn't
answer us in the way we thought. We worry about the people we love
being safe. We worry about the people we love loving us back. We worry
that we annoy the people we love. We worry about tests. We worry about
what people think of us. We worry about being left alone. We worry that everyone thinks we're fake because we love so much. We worry when
someone starts acting different around us. We worry about everyone
around us being happy. We worry people don't really care about us at
all. We worry that people are just using us because we care so much.
We worry about getting hurt... again. We worry we are different.
We are different, but guess what? That's
not something we should worry about. We care too much, we love too
hard, and we worry a lot. That's what makes us wonderful. In this
dark, cruel world I would much rather be a light than add to the dark.
We get so many people in our lives because they know we care, love and worry about them. They know we always will help them, care
for them, love them, and make sure they're OK. Do we get hurt? Yes.
Do we cry a lot? Yes. Do we feel different most times? Yes. We are
different, but it's not a bad different. It's a good different. We
refuse to let the people who have hurt us or the world stop us from
loving the way we love. Most importantly it is we. You are not alone.
There are people out there who love like we do. We just have to find
them. I love you.
Love,
The Girl Who Cares Too Much
