You can’t stay bitter and expect to get better.

My last relationship was four and a half years ago. Or something like that. I don't really know.

I will admit though that I spent at least two of those years being bitter. Not at him necessarily, I suppose you could say the situation… But some of it was definitely at him. I’m not naive or too proud to think he probably was bitter and upset towards me as well. I know I didn’t handle the situation perfectly, but at the time I was doing the best I knew how. The day we broke up was really sad and my heart was so, so broken in multiple pieces. As weeks and months followed, I thought I was dealing with this breakup okay. But overtime I could feel myself getting stuck. I was easily annoyed and I didn't have my usual joy and light heartedness. I was stuck in sadness that turned into bitterness. I may not have outwardly expressed this but my heart and body felt it.

It is so exhausting staying angry and bitter. It literally sucks out my energy. Yours too, don’t lie. Overtime you may not even remember why you’re mad at the person and you just stay mad… because you can? “Because they really made you mad?” Yeah, good one.

I recently watched Sadie Robertson’s (Duck Dynasty) YouTube video about the break up with her boyfriend and she had a lot of really great points. Although the subject of this video was geared towards the break up, there are good nuggets to take away from it to apply to life in general. One thing she said was on the day she broke up with her boo, she promised herself and asked God to not let herself be bound in BITTERNESS. Sadie said that although it was hard, this was the right decision for her. It wasn’t fun or easy but when you know you need to do something then you do it.

Sometimes things happen that we have no control over. But those things that we can control have to be worked through not on our strength alone. We need to be reminded that if we let ourselves be bound in bitterness, we aren’t allowing God to do His will in our life. If you are bitter you’re slowing down your plans that God has for your life. You can’t receive all the goodness that He has for you with your life rooted in bitterness.

Sometimes it feels like the world is swirling around me and I am stationary. I haven’t moved and I don’t really know how to get going again.

I care tremendously about my family, friends and career. I love deeply and I don’t half-do anything. I believe that it is normal and healthy to be sad, scared, hurt, angry, or any other emotion you want but when your actions become your feeling that’s there the trouble is. You are fully entitled to those feelings, but if you choose to stay rooted in bitterness and be self-absorbed that’s going to get you nowhere real fast.

Last year my grandma, Mema and my grandpa would have been married 70 years. I spoke to my Mema the day of their anniversary and she was telling me about how she wanted to be a little sad.

Mema said “I told myself and God the day that he passed, I could let myself be bitter or I could choose to be better. I just couldn’t stay mad at God. Not with all of my blessings and my grandkids and everything He has done for me.” So if Mema said it we really need to listen!

When you fully reach the place of complete forgiveness, it sets you free. It doesn’t make you weak, it gives you power.

Even if you don't get forgiveness from the other person in the way you feel you deserve just do yourself a favor and accept the fact that you may never get the "I am sorry" speech that you think you deserve.

When things happen in your life and you want to stay bitter at someone or something, don’t. Don’t let your joy be taken from you. Don’t let it take longer to receive the blessings God has for you.

Just don’t.

Don’t be bitter and expect to get better.