"Lay low, do not hide, but lay low." Who knew that a simple text from my sister, a plea to take care of myself, to hide my thoughts and opinions, could ignite such a deep sadness in me?
Ever since November 8, I have not been able to feel fully comfortable on the campus that I call home. Ever since last Wednesday, I have not been able to breathe comfortably, without the reminder of our elected president, and the decision made by everyday Americans; some friends, some family.
For the longest time, my father pushed my siblings and me to love the United States. He pushed us to get to know its cultures, its beliefs; he pushed us to get to know the America that he grew to love after immigrating here from the Middle East. After Tuesday night, however, he, along with many others, began to question the America that they knew and loved deeply.
To those of you who voted for Donald Trump, who I consider friends and family, please know this:
I love you, but I am disappointed. I will always love you, no matter whom you vote for, and no matter what you do, for that matter. I will never judge you, or hate you, but I am disappointed because of the acceptance of discrimination that you have seemingly portrayed.
I am disappointed in the fact that you have deemed everything that the president-elect of the United States has said as "okay", as acceptable. By electing him, it seems as though you are willing to sacrifice all that the America that I know, stands for. It seems as though you are "okay" with what he has said, when a good majority of the things that he has said affects people that you supposedly love and care for.
I want to walk you through the thought process that I'm going through, to help you understand how I am feeling. It is also a way to help me sort through my emotions.
**I do not want to, in any way, shape or form, try to change how you feel, as at this point, I see it as useless and impossible. I want to try to help you understand why so many of us minorities, women, and people who are "different" than the average Caucasian American straight male, are so upset.**
Donald Trump has taken many stances on minority groups, women, and immigrants; all things that I am or have connections to. All the stances that he has seemingly "taken" are not a positive reflection of who I am, who my family is, or how we want to be represented.
By voting for Trump, it makes it seem as though you are "okay" in the fact, that he has used my father's religion as a scapegoat. It makes it seem as though you are okay that Trump believes that all Muslims are terrorists, that we are a hateful group of people, and that our religion preaches anything but love and acceptance.
It makes it seem as though you are "okay" in his beliefs about women. All beliefs that degrade them as humans.
By voting for Trump, it makes me question my relationship with you. It makes me question whether or not I have done my job, or have done "enough" in educating others about my father's religion. It makes me question if what you think he says about Muslims, about any minority group, or anyone that he has continuously bashed on, is true. It makes me question you as a person because the person that I know and love and assumed you to be, would not have stood for this.
All of this being said, please do not tell me "not to worry", or to "stop making a big deal out of this". By saying these phrases, or phrases like them, it feels as though my feelings are not valid; all feelings I do not expect you to fully understand.
I need time. My mind has been going 100 miles an hour the past couple of days. Give me time. Give me space. Do not ask me to talk to you about it because after trying to talk to it to so many people, my feelings, worries, concerns, and thoughts, have been shot down because I am "making a big deal out of a president who is not even in office yet". Give me time, be patient with me.
