You've had your heart broken before, haven't you? You put all of your trust, dreams, happiness, faith, and loyalty into a person you swore up and down was the one. The one that you'd spend the rest of your life with, happily ever after, bound by your love for one another.
But that all came crashing down, didn't it? You were left an emotional mess of hurt and anger, with your heart lying around you in pieces. Whether they made the final decision to end it, or you were forced to do it due to their actions, the hurt is the same. No matter what mistakes are made on either end, to have such a fierce love and image of forever be shattered like that, is never easy.
Everybody handles it differently. Some people to turn to unhealthy distractions, such as drinking and partying. Some people turn to the saying "the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else." Some find healthy distractions such as working out, running, writing, or finding a new hobby.
No matter what scenario, many people involuntarily put up walls built on distrust and hurt. I, myself, fell incredibly hard and the walls I put up were impenetrable for almost a year.
Until him.
He literally came out of nowhere. I didn't want a relationship. I had been content for almost a year, being single. I had already adapted to the idea of staying single forever, and becoming a single mom and living life to fullest by myself. But, all of a sudden, my walls were crashing down around me, the more I spoke and spent time with him, the harder I fell. And no matter how hard I tried, or questioned my heart, I couldn't stop. There was something about him that challenged all of the distrust, hurt, anger, and disbelief in love that I had held in my heart for so long.
Every moment spent with him, made my heart soar. I wanted every text and call to light up with his name on my phone. I spent every free second thinking of him, his smile, his laugh, his eyes, his voice. I woke up every morning almost not believing it was real. I'd check my phone, and see our texts from the night before or a good morning text, and my heart was happily reassured it wasn't all a dream.
Yes, I find myself once again in love. But this is a different kind of love, which only proves that every type of love really is different. This love feels even more real than my last. Maybe it's because it overcame the mountains of heartache and distrust I held in my heart. This love has broken down my walls. It has swirled through my brain and heart and everything it touches is filled with warmth and joy. He's the first person I've ever looked at and been unable to look away from, because I'm so wrapped up in how lucky and blessed I am to have someone who sparks such strong emotion in me. He motivates me and inspires me. He's incredibly intelligent. His face lights up when he talks about his passions and dreams. There's so many little things that keep me in awe and I couldn't be happier.
So, whether you're still in the stages of crying on the bathroom floor and listening to sad, broken hearted playlists or picking yourself up, with new strength and walls up, don't give up. You will love again. Someone out there is going to break down your walls and show you exactly why your last relationship didn't work out. It may happen right away, and it may take a lot of time, but it will happen.
I, personally, believe God put this incredibly wonderful man in my path for a reason. He is the answer to all of my prayers, and I wasn't even asking for love. I prayed for strength, for happiness, for a break from the long reign of hurt, stress, and unhappiness I had been living. And like an answer to my prayers, he entered my world and turned it right side up. Coincidence? I don't think so.
So, whether you believe in God, or another higher power, or just believe in destiny, there is a plan for you. There is an answer to your prayers and 11:11 wishes. There is more than just your first lost love. There is a reason it didn't work out. It was just a lesson learned and stepping stone to something greater. When you're ready, pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You're going to be happy again. Love is not lost.
