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Overwhelmed

Too much work, too little time.

Megan Quinlan

Apr 20, 2017

Salve Regina University

Megan Quinlan

Hi...atous. So, I took a short break from writing. Well, it was a break from writing for fun at least, because school has me bogged down with papers, tests and so much more.

I’m overwhelmed. That is the understatement of the year. I am overwhelmed by papers, thoughts, and schedules. Never having a second for myself, each moment is consumed by something or someone else. Not even in my sleep am I allowed to think freely. Every action has a purpose linked to a demand that I am forced to meet. For once I would love five minutes of time alone. Alone, with a clean mind, no thoughts based on anything other than myself. Five minutes to become acquainted with myself, learn if being overwhelmed is worth my efforts. Have the time to understand a small part of who I am and my thoughts, not the thoughts I have for others.

This week, nay, these past few months have been a constant bombardment of work. Not just one or two papers, but rewrites followed by meetings as well as test after test. If you think I have had time to take a breath you are sadly mistaken. I am drowning in a sea of work and breathing is not an option, at this point I have to adapt and grow gills… weird metaphor I know, but it’s true. The amount of times homework and studying has superseded friends, family, food and sleep would heavily outweigh the times it hasn’t. I've built up and bottled so much stress I don't know when or where it will overflow.

Most days I am living from coffee to coffee because there is no time for sleep when there are impending deadlines. I have never truly understood the phrase, “you can sleep when you are dead” until this semester. My nights in the lounge continuously extend into the early morning leaving me with just enough time to take a small nap before the day truly begins.

Not that I’m complaining, I know what I signed up for, and I’m in for the long hall. However, in the middle of all this work, or when I finally give up at 3 in the morning, I can’t help but wonder if it’s all worth it. I can’t help but wonder if I’m taking the right path. It all feels right, I feel like I’m in the right place and I know I’m following my dreams, but I never get the time to think about it in depth. I’ve never gotten to truly know myself and know what I want out of life or out of myself. I’ve never contemplated if being overwhelmed is worth my while, I’ve only assumed it is.

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Overwhelmed

Too much work, too little time.

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The struggles of having an RBF are all too real

1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

We all go through certain stages when we have a crush, Tina just explains it better.

That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

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