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Being Guarded Doesn't Make An Emotionless Weirdo

It doesn't make you an ice queen with no heart, it just means you have a difficult time being vulnerable.

Amy Lynne Ruschen

Oct 26, 2016

Emporia State University

Being Guarded Doesn't Make An Emotionless Weirdo

Amy Ruschen

Guarded: careful, cautious, prudent, restrained, or noncommittal.

When you have been hurt so deep that the only option you see fit is to put up a wall and shut everyone out; that is when you become guarded. You have been burned by people one too many times, you have a fear of rejection, or maybe you had a rough past and the only way to deal is to keep everyone away.

Relationships start to reach a certain level and you bolt as far as you can. You don't want anything too serious. Your natural response is to walk away. Friendships become deeper and you shut all emotion off. People stick around and show you that they care, but all you can do is keep them at bay. They pour their hearts out to you and you only give them surface level thoughts and feelings. Soon enough everyone is gone and you have no one to blame but yourself. You pushed them away, shut them out, and made sure they didn't get too close. But why?

It's instinct and it's comfortable to turn people away. You have been doing it for so long that soon you don't even hesitate to shut off anything you feel for someone deeply. You are careful who you choose to get to know. You are the definition of "commitment issues" and everyone knows it. It can be the EASIEST thing in the world... why keep people around if they might only end up hurting you or leaving? Well, at the time it makes sense -- so it is exactly what you do. This doesn't mean that you are cold or bitter, or that you hate people and have no compassion. It doesn't make you an ice queen with no heart, it just means you have a difficult time being vulnerable.

You can't help it... it is like this alarm going off in your head telling you to shut down and back away. You sabotage the beginning of relationships and friendships as soon as you start to feel comfortable around them. There may be some people that you needed out of your life to ensure a positive life. But, at some point, you will look back and wish you wouldn't have pushed everyone away. There some people that you were once close to that are no longer around. You pushed them away when things got rough and now you don’t know how to go about getting them back in your life.

So this is an "I'M SORRY" to all the people that have been walked away from and shut out. It isn't personal, it just seems right and feels safe - like an automatic response. Opening up isn't easy and letting you inside my head and baring my soul, that is almost impossible. So please, don't give up on me yet.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Being Guarded Doesn't Make An Emotionless Weirdo

It doesn't make you an ice queen with no heart, it just means you have a difficult time being vulnerable.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

Told through Parks & Recreation GIFs

Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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