You know that moment when the picture of that girl pops up on your Instagram feed, and she's wearing a tight crop top shirt and shorts that just don't quite cover up her butt and her body is pressed up against some new boy and her caption is something like "great night with this one ;))" and you just know that she's around having sex with every hot guy who looks at her? And then you show your friends, and you all roll your eyes and say, "wow, what a slut," or "slut alert!" or some other short slogan that captures the essence of who this girl is?

Or how about that moment when that girl walks down the hallway in a skirt that's more than a little too short and a tight see-through shirt, and she's grabbing the attention of every guy she passes and she knows it? And you nudge your friends and you all give each other a look because, wow, has anyone seen a bigger slut in their lives?

Or maybe that moment when a girl you thought was okay starts dating the biggest player in your grade, and you just know she's only dating him because he's hot and popular, and you just know he's only dating her for sex; you just know she's giving in because she just wants to be popular, and you didn't realize she was like this, and you and all your friends comment on how sad it is that she went so downhill so quickly?

Or what about that moment when you walk into school with an outfit you're really proud of—say, a pair of thigh-high lace-up brown-leather boots with a cute flannel button-up and a pair of your favorite jeans that aren't even ripped—and suddenly you're getting looks, and a guy you know is a player comes up and comments that "wow, trying to impress someone?" and your friends, in front of everyone you know, say, "well, those boots certainly make a statement," and "yeah, they remind me of something a certain type of person wears," and the rumors about how "easy" you are start to abound?

Or maybe the moment when you start dating a guy you really, really like and care about, and when you introduce him to your friends they start whispering around that you're only dating him because he's hot and you have no morals and you've just turned into such a little slut?

Or how about the moment when you post a picture with said boyfriend and caption it with something you thought was innocuous, such as "had a great time!" or "fun night," and the rumors about what you two have been doing—since, of course, everyone else except you knows—start flying around over your head, out of your reach?

Every single girl is guilty of slut-shaming. I am, for one. But you know what? It's not okay.

Because behind that screen, behind those looks and whispered nudges and rumors, there is a person. And maybe she is what we would define as a slut—maybe she does only date guys because they're good-looking, and maybe she does hook up with every hot guy she meets—but that still does not make it okay to slut-shame her. Because I don't hear those same rumors abounding about the guys who are agreeing to hook up with her or asking to. I don't hear those same judgmental comments about the guys checking her out and encouraging her to keep dressing the way she is with their reactions.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." It's a quote wildly misattributed to the Greek philosopher Plato, but was actually penned by a Scottish author and theologian under the pseudonym Ian Maclaren, sometime in the 1800s. And it couldn't be truer in today's culture.

There's a good chance that girl you think is such a slut has baggage. She has insecurities, and maybe all she's ever been taught is that she needs to attract guy attention, in any way she can.

Maybe she has been raped or sexually assaulted or abused in her past, and this is her coping mechanism.

Maybe her father was abusive and has taught her that the only guys she deserves are the ones that don't care about her, the ones that will end up hurting her.

Maybe her mother was abusive and she is looking for escape, for validation, in the arms of a boy.

Maybe in middle school, she was the victim of bullying, of people telling her she was ugly, worthless, unattractive, unappealing, that no guy would ever want to even look at her, and this is how she proves to herself that they were wrong.

Or maybe she just wants to have sex because she is a teenage girl with raging hormones and a high sex drive who has never been taught otherwise. None of us question that teenage guys want sex—in fact, to some degree we encourage it, rationalize it, say that "boys will be boys," and they don't need any other excuse. But when it comes to a girl—suddenly she is worthless, dirty and broken. She is something to be cast aside because all her real value is in how far she hasn't gone with guys. Once she's gone as far as this one has, she's irredeemable. Worthless.

And let's also consider the other possibility—that all those rumors you've heard may just be rumors. That maybe her Instagram posts are a little questionable, but she hasn't even had her first kiss. That maybe the people saying she's a slut just have a grudge against her for whatever reason and are looking to ruin her reputation—and let's be honest here, what's a better way to ruin a high school girl's reputation than to convince everyone she sleeps around?

Maybe she's like I was. Maybe she went to school one day in those boots, that shirt and those jeans, and her friends turned on her. Maybe she started dating a guy she cared about and people read into it and speculated about it and spread rumors about that speculation. Maybe she was called "slutty" and "boy-crazy" and "hungry for guy attention" for no reason other than that she wore an outfit with a single clothing item that reminded people of prostitutes, and she started dating a guy who was good-looking.

Have you ever considered that?

When you slut-shame, you put a girl's worth in her sexuality.

Is that really the message you want to be sending the people around you?

That you put other girls' worth in how far they've gone with boys?

Take a look at your life. Take a look at your Instagram feed. Take a look at your friends. Are you the girl building other girls up, encouraging them they are worth more than their sexuality? Or are you the girl tearing them down and saying that they're irredeemable because of what they've done with boys?

Or maybe you are that girl, the one everyone talks about, and maybe the rumors are true or maybe they're just elaborate fabrications. Either way, if you're a victim, then you know the pain better than any of the girls spreading those rumors. Break the cycle. Be the better person. In the end, after all, that's the best way to get your revenge.

Bullying is prevalent in high schools, and it takes shape in many forms. Including slut-shaming.

Don't be the person to spread it. End it. Because no one deserves to be judged based on some mean words and spiteful rumors. And that goes for the so-called "slutty" girls, too.