Hey, you. If you're reading this and consider yourself an introvert, I hope part of what I am going to share resonates with you. If you're reading this as an extrovert, hopefully you'll take away a new perspective.
We live in a world built for extroverts, from the way classrooms are set up, to the ways in which people deem it acceptable to be "social".
Don't get me wrong, I love my family and friends. I love connecting with others, hearing their stories, hearing what makes them come alive. Yet I can only take so much. It takes me a while to process things, so after a few hours of social interactions, what I really need is to curl up by myself and take in everything that has just happened.
Recently, I have begun to feel guilty when I sense that I need this time for myself. In college, you are constantly surrounded by people and there are so many opportunities to spend time with others, and I have felt uncertain about wanting to opt out of certain outings at times.
I have felt that in needing this time alone, I am letting people down or not making the most of the moments I have been given on this earth.
Yet by denying myself this time, I am not embracing myself as I am. By attempting to fit the mold of an extrovert, when really, a huge piece of me is my introversion, I am implying that there is something wrong who I am.
Whether you're an introvert or extrovert or introverted extrovert (which is how I feel sometimes), be you.
There is no point in me spending an extended amount of time with people if my attention is diverted to the fact that I really need time alone. This time then serves no purpose.
My time alone is what energizes me, and allows me to make meaningful connections with people.
It's time that I, that all my fellow introverts out there, start recognizing that it is more than okay to take a step back from people, and take a step forward for yourself. I know for me that I will never be able to be my fullest self in all my relationships if I don't first and foremost recognize my needs and respect my relationship with myself.
So, to all fellow my introverts out there: if you're feeling guilty about "distancing yourself" from people or not always being "social", I want you to know that I get it, I've been there. Be gentle with yourself, be understanding that it is okay to need more time to recenter and refocus. It's okay to skip those dinner plans or other event to take some time for yourself. Give yourself what you need.
And to any extroverts reading this, maybe you'll realize that you might need some time for yourself now, too. Don't be afraid to take it :)
Spending time apart from people and with yourself doesn't mean that you love the people in your life any less, it means that you love them enough to want to take care of yourself so that when you are with others, you are your fullest self.
Here's to embracing who we are, no matter what.
Talk soon,
Sam
