Today I want to get personal. I know that I already did last week in my "Odyssey-Induced Interview" but this week, I want to take it a little more further than that. Today I'd like to invite you on a journey, a "walk through" if you will, of my first trip to the gynecologist.

Yes, you read that correctly. Earlier this week, after putting it off for far too long, I decided to go in for my first gynecological exam. Sure, during my annual visits to the pediatrician, she'd cover the basics of women's reproductive and sexual health with me, but I'd never gone to an expert for a more thorough examination. It actually wasn't until I found myself in the hospital with kidney stones that I knew I had to get serious about getting my personal parts checked. You see, before I could be released from the hospital, the physician assistant had to rule out any other possible causes of pain, such as an ovarian cyst or uterine polyp. I remember she said to me, "Alright, you know how this works. You've been to the gynecologist before, right?" To which I shyly answered, "Um, no, I've never done that." She then considerately, but firmly, explained to me that now that I was 19, it would be a good time for me to start taking annual visits to the gynecologist. So, a few months later, I found myself in the waiting room of my GYN.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "Bella, I'm glad you're getting yourself checked out and all, but I really don't need to hear about all the inner-workings of your personal parts," and you're right. I'm not under any obligation to reveal any part of this experience, and the specific details of my exam will remain completely confidential between me and my doctor. But, after conversing with some other wonderful young women on the topic, it seemed that I was not alone in my reluctance to make an appointment. The very description of how a pap smear test is done is kind of scary! "A doctor uses a device called a speculum to widen the opening of the vagina so that the cervix and vagina can be examined. A plastic spatula and small brush are used to collect cells from the cervix," according to Webmd.com.I don't know about you, but the idea of some weird instrument opening me up to brush out a sample from my body isn't exactly pleasant. But it is completely necessary in order to keep you healthy and safe; not to hurt you or intentionally make you feel uncomfortable (and I cannot stress this point enough). So, in order to destroy the stigma that gynecological exams are painful and awkward, I'm going to get as personal as possible in terms of my own experience. If I can open up, hopefully it won't be so hard for other hesitant young people to get intimately educated about their own bodies.

Before I even entered the exam room, I had to fill out paperwork with all of my personal information (current medications, emergency contacts, health insurance provider, etc.). Then a compassionate nurse lead me back to take down my weight and instructed me on how to provide them with a urine sample. (Not fun, but again, completely necessary.) After that, she brought me into an exam room and gave me a hospital gown which she told me to tie in the front so that my doctor would be able to perform a breast exam as well. She also provided me with a large tissue to cover my legs with.

After I waited for about 10 minutes or so, not entirely clothed and a bit chilly in the exam room, my doctor was ready to see me. Now, I can't speak for all gynecologists out there, but mine was a complete sweetheart. (He actually delivered me and my two siblings for my mom, which is why I chose to go to him.) Before even getting into my medical information, he asked me how I was doing and if I was enjoying my summer so far, (even making a few jokes about how I'd changed since the last time he saw me!) Then he proceeded to ask me questions about my health; if I'd had any complications, what type of birth control I was using, and if I was getting my period regularly. He even quizzed me on how my birth control pills work! I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to him about my body. I admit to even laughing a bit after voicing a certain concern, but he reassured me, "Hey, if you can't talk to me about this, who can you talk to? I'm here to give you all the correct information you need."

Next came the part that I had been dreading- the pap smear test (as eloquently described above). My doctor had me place my feet in the stirrups at the end of the exam table and slide onto my back. "I'm not going to hurt you," he reassured me again. "Just taking a sample to test for any irregularities or infections." He asked the nurse to apply lubricant to his finger and then proceeded to massage it onto my body before inserting the metal speculum. (For reference, a speculum is "an instrument that is used to dilate an orifice or canal in the body to allow inspection" -dictionary.com. I like to refer to it as a "duckbill" because that's more fun.)

He then used a small spatula to scoop a cell sample from my cervix, which wasn't the most pleasant feeling in the world, but I wouldn't go as far as to say that I was in any real pain. After taking the sample, he reminded me to relax my muscles and (to my relief) removed the duckbill. But my appointment wasn't over quite yet. My doctor told me that he was going to perform a basic uterine/bladder/rectal exam, and gently pressed down on my pelvis with one hand, whilst reentering my body with the other. He actually told me which parts he was examining as he moved his hand, "Feel this? I'm in your uterus. Now I'm moving onto your bladder. Feel that pressure?" and "Bear with me for a second while I examine your rectum and by the time you know this," he said sliding his hand out, "I'm all done." He then gave me a breast exam and asked if I'd experienced any discomfort or noticed any cysts. (Side note- did you know the best place to perform an at-home breast exam is in the shower?) I told him I hadn't, so he closed my gown and helped me off of the exam table. He shook my hand and told me everything looked healthy and I was good to go!

After changing back into my clothes, I met my doctor in the reception area to schedule another appointment in six months time. I chose a date, was given a pamphlet on how to perform my own breast exam, and the nurse gave me a cup of water before I left-- reminding me that I needed to stay hydrated in the heat, especially since I'd already had kidney stones once this year. And that was it!

Overall, I had an incredibly pleasant and informative experience at the gynecologist's. Despite knowing me since I was born, literally, my doctor talked to me like an adult, but was never bothered by any of my questions and he answered them all in an educational manner. By the end of my exam, I felt a lot more comfortable with my own body and all of my previous worries were put to rest. Going to the gynecologist shouldn't be a scary or daunting event, rather it should be treated as any other doctor's appointment. I think the key is finding a physician that you get along with- someone that makes you feel safe and comfortable while providing you with the care that you need. The goal is to ensure that you're healthy and with all the other struggles that come with being born with a vagina, your gynecologist is there to help make some of those struggles a bit more bearable.