Two years ago, On February 3rd 2016, I walked into my local rape crisis center. I was shaking, I was dissociative, and I was afraid.
My mind kept going to, did I really want to do this? I felt guilty, like I was doing something to get someone into trouble. For me, I am non-confrontational person. I didn't want to do this knowing that my school could face serious issues in the future if they are found in violation of Title IX.
Here's a little backstory.
Two years ago in November, I went to the police to report my assault. The police had notified my school which is a whole other issue that happened. I was told to wait for my school to contact me. They told me the school would contact me within the next few days, so I waited. A week later, I hadn't heard anything. I went to one of my professors and had a conversation with her. The conversation mostly was about a trip that I was taking with this professor, but I ended up disclosing to her that I was raped. She informed me that she was going to send something to the Title IX coordinator. A few days later I received a phone call from a person who worked in housing. I agreed to a meeting.
I went to the meeting two weeks after going to the police. I went into the meeting and it was a 5 minute conversation about how I no longer lived in the dorms. She told me that the title IX coordinator would contact me either that day or the next, so I waited. I waited for a month.
The school has 60 days to investigate. It has now been more then 60 days.
At the end of December, I had become frustrated, so I ended up sending a message to the title IX coordinator asking for a meeting with her.
She set up the date of January 4th 2016. I went in that day and went into the title IX office. I went and and sat with someone from Public safety and the title IX coordinator.
I won't write about the whole meeting. But first she had me retell my story again. During this, she was sitting there, not doing anything. Not making any notes of students, of my rapist, of where it happened, who the RA was, nothing. After I was finished telling my story, she began asking questions to the Public Safety officer. She began asking questions about my rapist, about other things that, sure its the Job of the public safety officer to know but, shouldn't you ask the person who was assaulted questions?
The questions she did ask me included
"Was he a big man?"
"Did you seriously tell nobody that you were raped for 3 years, not even your best friend?"
"If you were bleeding why didn't you go to the hospital?"
I told her about how I didn't feel safe on campus, She dismissed me, telling me that my school was the safest place for me to be.
After that, I decided to take the semester off of school. I went to my local rape crisis center for a therapy session. During that, I disclosed the way I was treated by my school. She was very upset by the way I was treated. She asked to write this information down and pass it along. I agreed.
During this time, I was also hiring an attorney. This attorney helped me change the statement in my educational records and get a no trespass order for my rapist so he wasn't allowed on my campus. So many other things, I can't even tell you everything she did for me.
Before my meeting with someone to file my federal complaint, I received a letter in the mail. My dad read it, who didn't know that I was raped. He called me and asked what the letter was about. I lied to him, not wanting to tell him that I had been sexually assaulted. The letter had informed me that the investigation into my assault was closed. It was dated the same day that I went into the office to talk to the Title IX coordinator.
On February 3rd 2016, I went into my local rape crisis center and filed a federal complaint against my school. The women from the rape crisis center helped me write out my complaint. I felt sick. I felt guilty, like I was punishing a bunch of students who hadn't done anything wrong. Then I had to remind myself, I was doing the right thing. I was protecting students who would be sexually assaulted in the future. As horrible as that sounds, it has happened since I have filed my complaint, and it won't stop until schools like mine start holding rapist responsible.
On April 27th 2016, I found out my school was under a federal investigation.
That is the day my school was added to the list of hundreds of other schools being investigated. But February 3rd is my day to celebrate. I did something. I didn't let my school silence me, and I never will. It was my day of bravery, of courage. I am proud of myself.
Two years on, I am happy I decided to follow my gut and file the complaint. I am now in therapy and I am handing my assault. I am now braver then I ever thought I could be. Stronger then I ever wished to be. I am in a better place then I ever dreamed I would be in. That doesn't mean I don't have my bad days. I am triggered daily by the news, by life, by everything and anything. But I am a fighter. I am a survivor and that is what gets me though the day.
