After only one semester in college, I have come to accept the reality of my strongest weakness. Along with about 97% of college students (not a real statistic), I readily turn to procrastination to deal with stress, cope with uncertainty and release negative energy. If you are a part of the rare 3%, I applaud your excellence, but encourage you to join the dark side and attempt some of the following. This list of procrastination hobbies has been collected mostly over one semester of college, but also the past 18 years (how long I have struggled with this disease).
WARNING: these tips have led to lack of sleep, lower average grades and decreased motivation to continue schooling!
1. Play on your phone
This is the most obvious of procrastination hobbies. It includes replaying Snapchat stories for the fourth time, downloading Tinder or getting wrapped up in recipe videos on Facebook.
2. Research the dining hall menus
Maybe you end up looking on City Bistro’s menu to see if they have any good post-studying snacks, but then you end up on next Thursday’s lunch at Liberty.
3. Find every possible used textbook site
I’ve never heard of anyone else doing this, but if you think that the book store has too high of prices or if you’re addicted to shopping, I would highly recommend this. Tip: this one is especially pertinent in the first week of class when the professor assigns a reading from a book you have not yet purchased.
4. Walk around
This is one is pretty self-explanatory but the dictionary defines ‘walking’ as “to move at a regular and fairly slow pace by lifting and setting down each foot in turn, never having both feet off the ground at once.”
5. Have a dance party
Turn that music up a little louder and call in some friends (make sure they leave their work in some other place). If you get in trouble or someone gives you a hard time, gently remind them that you are taking a dance class which requires at-home practice!
6. Clean!
It doesn’t matter if you’re in elementary school or all the way in college, no one can be truly mad at you for picking up broom and cleaning! Take all your clothes out of the closet and spend a few hours (or days, if you’re desperate) putting them back in! The opportunities are limitless.
7. Tell your roommates that you need to do work/study
This is a personal favorite of mine! Let’s say you have a paper due for a 9 a.m. the next day. The best way to avoid thorough work on this assignment is to tell your roommates that you have a paper due at 9 a.m. the next morning. They will talk, they will listen, they will show you things on their phone and they will make you completely forget about your paper; before you know it, it will be 12 a.m. and you’ll just be starting your conversation on the benefits of 5.5 mm knitting needles instead of 5.0 mm needles!
There it is: a short list of all the successful ways to procrastinate. So, drop your new year’s resolution and lower your GPA expectations as you dive into the world of chronic procrastination.
