October, besides being the time for pumpkins and witches, is also when school starts picking up. The second things start getting just a little bit more difficult, my brain goes “nope. This is it. You’re done. I am going to cope with this stress by completely shutting down.”
Due to a blood condition, I am more susceptible to depression, and am effected by stressful situations more than the average person. My brain, which had previously been on academic hibernation for months, is now suddenly have to turn back on. And that shift, when things suddenly get challenging, makes it go into overdrive. I get stressed, which leads to self-doubt, which leads to me just not feeling anything because it’s easier.
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I was pretty impressed with myself for figuring this out. And for some reason it made me accept that yes, I have depression and it’s okay. We’ve all heard the saying it’s okay to not be okay, which is true. But what isn’t okay is to not do anything to make yourself okay again. You took a big step admitting that you have a problem, you can take an even bigger step and fix it.
Self-care is different for everyone. It’s taking time for yourself, to evaluate what you need. But below are a few general suggestions of how to make things a little easier.
1. Make a list of everything you accomplished that day.
Depression can fill you with self-doubt, you tend to think you’re useless and can’t do anything right. Take some time at the end of the day to think of any accomplishments, no matter how small. I usually make a mental list, but write it down if you need a visual reinforcement. Mine usually is like, “didn’t skip class… talked to friends… did something that made me happy.” It sounds stupid typing it out, but it actually does work.
2. Improve your coping strategies.
Everyone has ways of dealing with depression. You’re allowed to cope, you can’t change your attitude in one day. But sometimes the way you cope can have negative consequences. For example, I tend to lock myself away in my room because I’m too tired to talk to people. I’ll sit alone for hours watching Netflix or reading a book. It makes me feel better, but I end up isolating myself from everyone. I’m working on watching TV in our living room, or keeping my door open while I read. Try to come up with a coping strategy that has physical or emotional benefits.
3. Take it slow (set realistic goals).
I have a problem of wanting to change my whole lifestyle in one day. That’s not possible, and it will lead you to feel worse about yourself. If you have a whole list of things you want to change, pick one to do every day, or every week. One week clean your room (cause if you’re like me, you never have the energy to clean your room). Pick a day to eat lunch with a friend, another to sit and work in the library. You get to heal at your own pace, so set goals that push you out of your comfort zone, but are things that you know you can do.
4. Get moving.
Everyone’s been told that exercising helps with depression (exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy). But being depressed can feel like moving in slow motion against a current. When doing simple tasks like getting out of bed or getting dressed is exhausting, don’t expect yourself to go out and run a mile. Think simplistic, something you don’t have to go out of your way to do. Stretch in bed while you’re watching Netflix, take the scenic route while you’re getting coffee/lunch, have a little dance party in your room (my personal favorite).
5. Reach out and talk to someone.
High key this is the one I don’t do, but I’m working on it. This doesn’t even have to be a “I’m feeling really down and I don’t know why” very emotional talk. There’s no shame in telling a friend, “Hey I’m going through a rough patch. If you don’t see me for a couple of days drag my ass out of bed and make me participate in life”. I think more people need do to that. If you aren’t ready to open up emotionally, that’s no problem. But reach out to your support system and let them know what you need.
