In 6th grade homeroom, I never talked to anyone. All I ever did was sit alone, reading my books, in the back corner of the classroom. High school wasn't any better.
I was talkative in my extracurricular activities, but nowhere else. Then, college changed me. Going into freshman year, I made it a personal goal to be outgoing, or at least more so than I have been!
Here are some tips that really helped me break out of my shell:
1. Say yes more often.
When I say, "Say Yes", I don't mean say yes to everything. Keep it legal! Keep it comfortable for you! If a new friend asks to have dinner with you in the dining hall, go for it! If you get invited out to a party or a movie or bowling or anything — say yes (to whatever you are okay with of course)!
Not only do you push your limits safely, you get to be able to experience more memories!
2. Assume people have the best intentions.
Imagine this: you are in a small class, and you have a question, but you are too afraid to ask since there are people around. Instead of assuming they intend to judge you, assume they are open to hearing your question and happy to hear what the professor has in response!
Or, let's say you want to ask a friend to study, but they say no since they are busy and you're too afraid to ask again.
Assume that your friend really was busy and their response was not a reflection on you.
3. Learn how to feel confident with yourself in the mirror.
Insecurities have a lot to do with being nervous and shy around others. You're afraid people are watching you. Waiting for you to make a mistake then laugh at you for it.
Something that helped, for me at least, was learning how to love myself.
I would never try on new outfits or take pictures of myself since I was so afraid I looked bad. I took the liberty to erase all of that and started to feel more comfortable looking at who I was and appreciating who I am.
This won't happen overnight, and it will always be a learning process, but ever since feeling more confident in my skin, I was able to also feel more confident in social situations.
4. Understand everyone isn't perfect.
It's okay to make a mistake! Even if you make it in front of 100 people! You're not a perfect human being. No one is. Everyone else is equally imperfect. Putting others' behavior, outgoingness, or anything else on a pedestal only limits yourself.
It's hard to believe when you only see the highlights of others, but trust me.
When you realize everyone is on the same boat as you are, it makes it easier to talk to new people or take new chances.
These are just a few of my personal tips that helped me become more extroverted.
Since then, I have had many opportunities in college to make the experience so much better!
I hope all works out for you too!
