As mentioned many times before in an array of articles, mental illness is often seen as a taboo in society quite often. However, it does not take much to be able to understand it and to not be negligible towards those who have a mental illness, especially in a relationship. If your partner refuses to acknowledge and take in consideration your mental illness, something is very wrong. You cannot have a healthy relationship unless you can be open for one another and be understanding of each other's struggles whether they be physical, mental, or emotional. Having an anxiety disorder, this really hits home for me. I've encountered many people who dismiss the mental war I face every single day. I have those who tell me I'll never be normal or never be able to have a traditional relationship. However, it just takes a normal kind of maturity to be able to have a relationship with me or anyone suffering from anxiety.
Patience is key. You have to take your time with people who have anxiety like I do, especially during episodes or anxiety attacks. It is quite easy to get frustrated with us. We are well aware that often the things we worry about are extremely trivial. So please do not make us feel inadequate or silly for the worries we have in our heads; we know well that they are dumb. Having the right amount of patience and cooperation with us will go a long way; the relationship can thus be more productive and much healthier.
A genuine compassion for people in general is very pertinent to us. We examine how you treat other people and relate that to how you will treat us. We've encountered many people who do not know how to properly handle us and break our trust. We are constantly on edge; you will have to reassure us of many things constantly, no matter how annoying and repetitive it might get. We need to feel as though we are valid and wanted else we feel like the heaviest burden to every single thing in the world around us. A little bit of extra love can tear down the walls our anxiety builds up and will make us trust you so much more. We will be able to finally feel at peace with someone; we will cherish that and you. Although it's cliched, love is a two way street. The extra TLC will help us get there.
Finally, the biggest concern for me is a sense of empathy for those with anxiety or any mental illness for that matter. To be able to put yourself in someone else's shoes and take a look at it from there perspective is a wonderful tactic; plus, you get to know your partner more. There is a huge difference between saying "it's going to be okay" and "I understand what you're going through, and I'm here for you". We would much rather hear the latter. It makes us feel calmer, safer, and more secure. In our minds, the current situation is not okay, and telling us that it's okay is most definitely not a cure-all. However, we don't want you to be sad or nervous because we're sad or nervous, we just want you to try and understand why sometimes our anxiety gets out of control or that we're feeling down for no reason.
Reassurance is vital to us; we need to know you'll be there for us. This will put our hearts and mind at ease. Therefore, it is easier for us to love our partners properly. That way each participant of the relationship is giving their fair share.
