All you Marist freshmen out there are probably enjoying the weather on campus right about now; you're no longer having heat strokes in your dorm rooms and, when you look around outside, you can't help but appreciate all the pretty colors. But do not be fooled. What you're experiencing right now is just the calm before the storm. You are not a true Marist student until you've survived a winter here, and to help you survive what is sure to be a freezing, body numbing couple of months, here are some tips you might want to remember for when the snow starts falling.
1. Layers on layers on layers.
2. Dress for the wind tunnels, not the actual temperature.
Marist has two temperatures in the winter: the "I can't feel anything" temperature that is pretty much the normal thing around campus and then the "Oh God, this is the end" feeling you get when you walk in front of Champ or the library. The wind is brutal, so put on your fluffy hats and get those gloves on if you'd like to keep your ears and fingers intact. And girls, invest in some waterproof mascara because your eyes are going to be tearing like there's no tomorrow. Unless of course you like the deranged clown look, then by all means keep using what you're using.
3. Stock up on food.
Champ residents, you are blessed. Unlike your peers, you do not have to take a step outside to get to the dining hall. Sheahan, Leo, and Marian? Well, you're SOL when the weather drops to freezing, so make sure to get as many snacks as possible. Seriously. When there's a foot of snow on the ground, you are not going to want to venture out into the tundra and fight your way to the dining hall. So do whatever it takes; have your family send care packages, take the shuttle to the Stop n Shop, steal borrow from your neighbors: it's every man for himself.
4. Work on your excuses for missing class.
When it's below freezing and snowing outside, are you really going to want to make that 8 am walk to Dyson, Lowell Thomas or, God forbid, Fontaine? No, you're not. When you skip, because you will, email your professor so they don't completely hate you. You'll most likely play the sick card, your professor will pretend to believe you and all will be right in the world. Don't feel guilty about missing, because chances are you're not the only one playing hooky; just relax and hibernate.
5. Invest in some snow boots.
Unless you enjoy falling on your butt in front of everybody, get some half decent boots with rubber soles. You do not know slippery until you've experienced a Marist sidewalk in the winter. It's just like ice skating, only without the fun or the walls to hold onto. If you do happen to fall it'll probably be pretty embarrassing, but just get up and shrug it off because there's probably someone behind you who is about to become well acquainted with the ground, too.
6. Be prepared for fire alarms.
If you think someone burning popcorn at 1 am sucks now, just wait until it's 2 degrees outside. For the many times this will happen, be sure to keep some warm clothes nearby that you can change into. Even better, make sure you have friends in all the other dorms so that you can hang out there until you're allowed back into your room. Then again, you could always take preemptive measures and actually learn how to make microwavable popcorn without incinerating it (unlikely, I know). And hey, if you think it's bad now, sophomore year they trust you with stoves.
So freshmen, brace yourselves for what is sure to be a freezing, soul-crushing winter, and welcome to Marist.
