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How To Procrastinate

Why do today what you can do tomorrow... or the next day... or the next?

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How To Procrastinate
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For most college students (or ANY students in general), procrastination is sort of a way of life. We put off our work as much as we can until about 5 minutes before it’s due. But do students really know how to procrastinate to the best of their ability? I mean, if you’re going to not do something, you might as well not-do it well, right?! Besides, we want to at least LOOK like we’re accomplishing things so other people don’t call us out on our slacking because then we’re forced to do real work. So to help you avoid this and become the best procrastinator you can be, I’m here to tell you my Do’s and Don’ts of Procrastination:


1. DO make sure to eat a hearty meal BEFORE studying.

All that work (that you won’t be doing) will require a LOT of energy, so you want to make sure your brain has enough fuel. Make sure to take your time choosing what to eat so you can make the best decision. Things loaded with caffeine and sugar are typically best because you’ll be pumped for your “work.” (People say those foods will just cause you to drop later, but that won’t happen for a while, so you’re good.) Also, make sure to drink LOTS of water to wash down the food (which I’ll explain later).

2. DON’T eat light, healthy snacks WHILE studying.

Things like a piece of fruit or half a PB&J don’t give you the immediate energy you need. Also, constantly reaching over to grab a bite while you work is very distracting; you have to stop working, eat your food, then try to refocus. This is much more time consuming than multitasking-advocates suggest. They say it saves time by doing 2 things at once, and… they’re right. But they can’t know that or else they’ll make us start doing that and ACTUALLY accomplish things.

3. DO take the time to find the perfect environment.

That quiet library is so boring, and every little sound is like a sonic boom compared to everything else. But the dorm common room where your friends are watching the football game, perfect! They can help you if you get stuck on something, and what’s a little distraction compared to quality bonding with your friends?

4. DON’T work in silence.

Most people think it’s best to work without music to distract you or that if you have to listen to music, it’s best to listen to classical or instrumental 'cause it won’t have words to distract you. These are lies. It’s almost impossible to focus in complete silence, and instrument music is so boring. Jamming out to your favorite songs will make studying more fun to where you might actually want to do it (though I doubt anything can make studying THAT fun).

5. DO discuss interesting topics with your friends...

...even if they have no idea what you're talking about. You’re still “focused” on your work, but now you’re also sharing that knowledge with your friends. Who cares if it has nothing to do with their major? It’s interesting and totally worth a 30-minute discussion about it. Also, don't be afraid to ask them questions they don't know the answers to. (You look like you're trying to better understand the information, but really you just want to stall.)

6. DON’T be unorganized.

Always make sure you have EVERYTHING you’re going to “work” on, and have it all sprawled out on the table so you can easily see where it is when you need it. If you’re working on a Microsoft Word document, take the time to get everything structured the way you want, and if it doesn’t look right at first, don’t just edit things; start all over. Setting up the perfect format takes time, and trust me: it will be time well spent.

7. DO take plenty of breaks.

Studies show that breaks are good for the brain, so make sure to take as many as possible. Watch a movie, play a game, do literally anything to let your mind rest and fully absorb the 3 sentences you just read. Speaking of rest, studies also show that naps are good for you too ‘cause they let your brain move information from your short-term memory to long-term memory. Now, you don’t want to overload your brain with too much info to process, so make sure to take a nap every page or so. However, the best/easiest kind of breaks you can take are bathroom breaks. Remember all that water I told you to drink earlier? Well, now you have the perfect excuse to take a break. You just chugged a gallon of water. Of course, you’re going to have to pee a lot! Who’s going to hold that against you?

And finally…

8. DON’T let accusations of procrastination go unaddressed.

Did your friend just call you out for checking your phone when you should be working? Go on a 20-minute tangent about how short breaks are good for the brain and how they need to stop disrespecting you by calling you out. You “care” about your work and know the best ways to get it done. So they need to just let you take your break, and you’ll return to it when you’re ready… maybe.


Well, I hope these tips were helpful in perfecting your skills as a procrastinator. Very few people can pull off being the best at anything, so if I was able to get you even one step closer to being the best at putting things off, then I’ll be satisfied. Happy Not-Studying!

(P.S. If you made it this far, then you obviously need the most help because you couldn’t even put off reading this article. So you may need to work extra hard at procrastinating, but it'll be worth it!)

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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