Every person, couple and relationship is different. Therefore, there is no one all powerful list to make everything work and magically get your happy ending. Moving away to college has put me in the ever so "damning" situation of being in a long distance relationship. I have compiled my experience into a list of tips to set you in the direction of finding your own methods of happiness.......hopefully.
1. Stop reading online lists.....after this one
I have read list upon list upon article. Some of the advice I've found online is solid, but doesn't quite work for my relationship. Find your own way with your partner, what makes you as a couple feel closer.
2. Don't listen to any outside opinions
My boyfriend and I have gotten attacks from every angle. People love to tell us that it won't work, you know, everyone has their two cents to put in. Family is no exception, they may mean well but they still look at us with doubt. Ignore it all and focus on the happiness of you and your partner.
3. Ignore the clock
It doesn't matter how long you have been together. If you are in love after six months, then that's your business. People like to act like there's a schedule to these things but there just isn't. Work at your own pace and love in your own time.
4. Get Skype or something similar
Even when you have exhausted all conversation topics, Skype each other. Be on the phone while you are sitting there working on homework or watching TV just so that you can virtually "share space."
It sounds a little weird, but it helps make it feel like you are still a part of of each others lives, even on the boring days. Also, it's nice to get to see their face and hear their voice.
5. Embrace the cheesiness
If I had a dollar for every time my friends said they wanted to barf because my boyfriend and I were being cute and cheesy, I'd pay off a semester of tuition. It's a little cringy, but if you are the lovey and cute type, show it, often.The geographic distance may be large, but emotionally you can still be just as close as ever.
6. Visit as often as possible
There may be financial or time constraints, but meet up as much as you can. Words can be powerful, Skype can help, but sometimes you need to feel that they are solid. In the end, nothing can compare to hugging the one you love. Personally, I go home every two weeks, which probably makes me luckier than most. Not everyone can do that, but just do as much as you can, meet in the middle if you have to.
7. Patience is a virtue
Not only do you have to be patient with the situation, you need to be patient with each other. Miscommunications happen and someone will get upset, learn to get past it. Fights will happen more than they used to and getting through them will take patience. Take on everything as a team, both of you against the problem, not against each other.
8. The "where do you see this going?" cliche
The idea behind a working long distance relationship is that one day it will no longer be long distance. Figure out not just your relationship goals but your life goals and make sure you are on the same page. This is true for any relationship, but it is most important in long distance. Also, be completely honest with each other about these things, seriously.
