I’m a firm believer that everyone should be required to work as a server in a restaurant at least once in their lives. Everyone goes to restaurants. Everyone. But, only a fraction of those people actually understand what it takes to be a server and how that whole industry works. People that do understand are empathetic. People that don’t understand, are often the exact opposite.

Disclaimer: tipping in the United States is different in comparison to other countries. That’s why, no matter where you travel, even to those travelling from another country to the US, it’s important to research tipping etiquette. There is vast variation from place to place.

In the US, it seems pretty common knowledge that the going rate for tipping is 18% of the bill before taxes. That’s what’s recommended for your average experience. If you have a great experience, 20% is standard. But, let’s be honest, that’s not too much above the average tip amount. If you receive sub-par service, it’s still expected that you give a 15% tip.

I don’t know about you, but I find it incredibly embarrassing to dine with someone that doesn’t tip appropriately. Let me give you a for-instance, my mother-in-law is a horrible tipper. I’m pretty sure every time I’ve dined with her, she leaves a customary $3-5 tip. No matter where we were (from Cracker Barrel to Olive Garden), no matter how many people there were (from 3-8), no matter how much the bill costs: she grossly under tipped the servers.

I’m not the type of person to say anything, especially when someone else is paying for my meal. But, it makes me feel so guilty and I feel incredibly bad for the server. They never did anything wrong! But, you can bet that receiving a tip like that makes a person wonder where they went wrong. That leaves me feeling very uneasy.

There really is no excuse for people to under tip their servers. I can remember when I was younger, my parents would try to do the math to figure out the tip. At one point, my mom even got this handy-dandy little card that she could use to figure out tips by how much the bill was and what a 20% tip would be.

Today, everybody has a cell phone on them and every cell phone has a calculator. It’s too simply to pull out your phone, plug in the bill amount, and calculate the tip. There are zero excuses for not knowing the correct amount to tip.

A few things that people don’t realize about tipping that you really ought to know:

• Many servers don’t keep the entirety of their tips. At the end of the night, they often tip out hosts/hostesses, bus boys, and bartenders. These other individuals have helped them throughout the night and were part of the dining experience. They do get to receive part of that tip you gave.
• The speediness of your food arriving to your table, more often than not, is not the fault of the server. I’ve heard many people haggle on how much to tip a waitress simply because their food came out too slowly. The server has nothing to do with that, that’s everything to do with the kitchen staff. Servers will try to get your food out faster and all together.
• Servers make below minimum wage per hour. Often times, this can be as low as $3, sometimes even less than that. These men and women rely solely on their tips to make a living.
• For the people that gripe about how servers don’t claim their tips – that’s an assumption. Whether or not they claim their tips is not up to you to figure out. Don’t short-change a server under the assumption that they don’t claim their tips and that it’s unfair to you as a responsible tax payer. For all you know, that person could be as honest as they come and claim every dime they make, and you short changed them based on conjecture.

Next time you decide to dine out, be cognizant about what you choose to leave for a tip. Servers work incredibly hard, work long hours, work weekends and holidays, and often can’t afford to take time off. Appreciate them for their hard work. You want to be appreciated for yours, don’t you?