It's been a few months since I've been single. Watching my ex-boyfriend with his new girlfriend from the sidelines without being stalker-ish started feeling pathetic after a while. I one day simply realized that enough was enough and that I needed to move on. I decided to make a tinder account. All my friends had one and they kept pressuring me to make one as well so I went ahead and did it. I spent almost an hour sitting in my friend's dorm creating my profile. My friend and I scrolled through hundreds of pictures on my camera roll until I finally found a few decent ones I thought made me seem like an adventurous, fun loving, kindred spirit. After googling "good tinder bios" I settled upon something simple: "tell me a joke", I figured it made me seem easy to talk to and approachable. I constantly swiped left on most of the guys as I am a picky person but the few guys I did swipe right for matched with me instantly. I messaged a few guys back and the conversations always ended up with them asking if I was interested in hooking up for the night, which I clearly wasn't.
I completely forgot about the app for almost an entire month as I was too caught up in studying for a biology test. It wasn't until I was updating my apps till I saw that I still had it downloaded on my phone. With nothing better to do, I decided to give it another shot, hoping that the next guy would actually want to get to know me and not just the color of my underwear. This one guy really stood out to me. He was extremely good looking and bio was a list of reasons why someone should go out with him and reading it genuinely made me laugh. For the sake of not exposing him, I'm going to refer to him as Joe. I matched with Joe and my inner 15-year-old self got very excited! Even more excited when he messaged me the next morning. Joe told me he was an aspiring actor and that he was currently working on his own play. I thought that was truly fascinating as I myself am an aspiring writer. I proceeded to tell him about my poetry, something I don't really mention to other people, I just felt comfortable telling him.
After exchanging messages back and forth for a couple of days, Joe suggested we meet up at a local coffee shop and I agreed. A part of me was nervous as I had never met up with a stranger like this before, but another part of me was excited about things going well and the possibility of a maybe new relationship.
It was a Thursday night, Joe and I had planned on meeting that Saturday. I was with a couple of my friends and I ran into an old acquaintance from high school who ironically had just returned from a tinder date himself. I asked him all about it and he told me it was great. He asked about my experiences with the app and I proceeded to tell him about Joe and what he was like and that I was a little apprehensive about going to meet him. Coincidentally, he and Joe were really good friends. He simply told me that Joe was a good guy and that I shouldn't have to be worried about anything. Upon hearing those words, I finally had some confidence.
The next day I was out with another friend of mine and he asked about my plans for the next day to which I responded by saying I had a date. Suddenly. way too curious about my love life, my friend was eager to know every last detail about Joe. I didn't have much to tell him so I decided to pull up Joe's tinder profile to show him. To my surprise, he wasn't there. All our messages were gone. Joe had unmatched with me. Although my friend suggested it might have been an accident, I knew it wasn't. I wasn't mad or anything, not even disappointed in the slightest bit. Yes, I was excited about meeting him as apparently according to some guy I barely spoke with in high school claimed he was an amazing person. But after he unmatched with me, I just didn't really care anymore.
It was finally Saturday, the day of me and Joe's supposed date. Word travels fast in my small circle of friends; the friend who helped me make my profile came over to my dorm and told me to give Joe the benefit of doubt. She went on to say that him unmatching with me could've been accidental and that I should still go to the coffee shop just in case he did decide to show up. I honestly knew that Joe wasn't going to be there but not wanting to waste another one of my roommate's Keurig pods, I decided to just go to the coffee shop as I didn't have anything to lose. I took my friend with me, we went in, ordered our drinks, and sat down. I didn't see anyone who looked remotely similar to Joe. After about 20 minutes of waiting around, my friend finally got the idea that he wasn't going to show up. I wasn't at all upset. I know that I want a guy who can be brave enough to be direct with me. It was quite pathetic of Joe to unmatch with me. If he couldn't make it for whatever reason, I would've understood or if he simply didn't want to meet up at all, I would've been fine with it.
Moral of this overly long explanation of a situation is that expecting too much from people only leads to disappointment-but that shouldn't mean one should stop trying. Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. This guy I'm referring to as Joe was only one of the very many jerks I'll encounter in life. Because of him or anyone else, I shouldn't have to lose hope. As cheesy as it sounds, there is someone out there for me and when I do meet them, these previous jerks won't matter anymore. I'm not quite ready to delete my tinder app just yet. Who knows, maybe the person I'm looking for is in the midst of all the other guys desperate for a hookup or can't carry on conversations. I won't know unless I'm willing to take a chance.
