When I asked my coupled friends how they met, I usually get the same response, “through social media.” It could be through Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat…etc. It just seems as though everyone finds their soulmate through a tweet or picture they posted. Which isn’t a bad thing! That’s how I met my ex-boyfriends as well. Some couples that I’ve met actually met on dating apps like Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, and the very popular, Tinder.

I am guilty of having a Tinder account. Before hearing theirs groans and disgusted faces of telling people I made a Tinder, I let them know it was strictly for fun. Not going to lie, maybe, I just thought, I would possibly meet “the one.” However, that turned to crap within a couple of months.

I first made a Tinder around February of this year. This was the start of a “new year, new me.” Started going to the gym on my campus, eating right, doing my work, and joining Tinder. Ya know, the usual. I was first annoyed by the fact that I had to connect it with Facebook as my initial thought was having my distant relatives see me using Tinder. Again, there is no shame in using dating apps, people. It was just my fear of my aunt asking me how my Tinder life was going. Anyways, I uploaded some selfies, created a bio, and was on my way to swiping. (BTW my bio was: does Young Metro trust you?) Again, I made a Tinder for fun, people. Although I swiped left constantly, there were a few that were lucky enough to get a swipe right. And this is where it went down hill from there.

I matched with a couple people and actually talked to quite a few of them. Some just right off the bat wanted to hook-up, but some I actually had good conversations with. However, with the handful that I had a few good talks with, some turned out to just be pervy and ultimately weird. Do some guys nowadays think once I laugh at their one joke that its just an automatic “OK” for them to ask if I’m horny and want to hang out? No, I’m not horny, but I am pissed that you ruined what I though was a fun convo. And once I said I wasn’t interested, I never heard from them again. OK, 1) thanks for pretending to be interested in me and about my life, and 2) wasting my time. I can honestly say I had one to two matches on Tinder who did not turn out to be a typical “Tinder f*ckboy.” I just tried to remind myself to not take this app seriously. So, from then on, I just ignored and rolled my eyes at those pervy messages and swiped away.

Then it came to actually meeting up with a few Tinder matches. Grab your popcorn, because this is where it gets good. I met three Tinder matches in person: an asshole, an asshole, and guess what, an asshole.

Asshole #1 took a complete U-turn with me. I’ll explain. This was our romantic timeline: matched, messaged, FaceTimed, and met his mom and grandma on FaceTime all in one day. I did what most couples who been together for less than six months haven’t even done yet. The next day, we meet. As he’s driving up to my campus I start to become even more nervous and sicker. As the great rapper Eminem once said, “palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. Theres vomit all over the sweater, mom’s spaghetti.” All the normal symptoms of having a nervous breakdown! I just had a worry thought in my head that he would think I looked nothing like my pictures and was just offensively ugly and drive off once he saw me. However, it was nothing like that, thankfully. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and pull out a rose from behind him. He’s perfect, right!? Yeah, that’s what I thought too. He was the perfect gentleman: opening doors for me, letting me walk in first, paying for my food, brought a damn rose…etc. I honestly though I found the one, especially we are of the same nationality. However, towards the end of the night turned spoiled. We’re sitting in his car, talking and holding hands. Then he asks if he can kiss me, which I say yes to because I believed he deserved it after an amazingly date he planned. We kissed and then talked, but then he goes in again, but I didn’t stop him. Next thing I know, he grabs my hand to make me feel up on him, which I pull away quickly. Then he tries to make me touch his abs, but “subtly” shifting my hand downwards. Again, I pull away. THEN, he tries feeling up on me. Being that I was too enchanted by such a marvelous night to see what’s really going on, I let him continue. It was probably for a minute or so, and then we headed back to my campus, arm in arm and he gave me a goodnight kiss. I couldn’t sleep that night because the butterflies in my stomach kept me up.

That was the last time I will forever see A-hole No. 1 again. Not only did he want me to hook him up with my suitemate, but he also had the audacity to ask if I wanted to be in a threesome with him and his male friend. He took a picture of his friend and sent it to me on Snapchat and asked if I approved. Needless to say, we never spoke again.

A-holes No. 2 and No. 3 were similar, minus the threesome and suitemate part. We went out to a restaurant, had good talks, paid for the meal, dropped me off at my campus, and then both never spoke to me ever again.

In the course of four months, my self-esteem plummeted dramatically. Never have I felt more used, hideous, and like an object by a male, ever. Although I knew people my age group, 18 to 25, mostly use it for hookups, I had somewhat hope that I might be able to look for a companion on there. Being that I already had previous relationship drama before making a Tinder account, this and Tinder ultimately made me feel worse about myself. The pervy texts, being lead on, not feeling good enough, and being ignored all piled up and what made me breakdown at one point. I felt…worthless. If the guys around me didn’t want me and the guys I matched with didn’t either, who was to say I’d ever find someone who will?

But you will. I will. It took me awhile to build back my self-esteem after a roller coaster of a year that it has been. You shouldn’t let a hormonal person dictate your self-worth. If they just want a hookup and you don’t, then let them be. If you want something more and genuine, you will find someone who is shares the same goals as you. Don’t rush love, and don’t settle either. During the course of those four months I honestly thought that this was it. This is where I will find love, with some a-hole that wants me to send him nude pictures of myself. That is how I will tell my kids how I met their father. No, it won’t. Tinder is a fun and creative way to meet, date, and interact with people globally, just like all dating apps and websites. Just because there’s some are not Mr./Mrs. Right, doesn’t mean you won’t find them either, whether it’s through social media or reality.