So about three weeks ago, I was finishing up an article where I asked 15 guys on Tinder "DTF?" Yes, it was all fun and games, until I saw one of my matches sitting about five feet away from me. I should've just left the room (this is my last rule on this list). I was laughing, staring, looking at his profile, and this was all directed to my best friend who was sat directly in front of me. She told me to STFU and just keep calm because he most likely didn't recognize me (rude, but true).
I deleted my account straight after this incident because how the heck could I handle this again?
To keep you from humiliating yourself any further than you already have (we both know it's true), here are 20 things you should 110% NOT do if you come in contact with the same situation as I did. Good luck my "Tinderees":
1. Stare at them for more than 0.00009 seconds.
2. Whisper sweet nothings into their ear (IDK how you would feel this comfortable with a hot stranger, but to each their own).
3. Pull up their profile and ask if that’s really their dog.
4. Laugh uncontrollably until the whole room is as uncomfortable as you are.
5. Send a picture of them to themselves with the caption, “Cutie spotted.”
6. Send them a “what you up to?” text because you know damn well what they’re up to.
7. Send them the, “How you doin’?” Joey GIF and stare at them until they look at their phone.
8. Slick back or whip your hair to the side… stop, they already swiped right so they already think you’re hot, why try too hard?
9. Walk past them five times and keeping making it obvious asf.
10. Wink… because no one wants to see that.
11. Spill coffee on their desk to get them to notice you (you may ruin their homework and then that “almost relationship” has already gone to sh*t).
12. Dab their direction. Actually, just don’t do this in general #YoureWelcome.
13. Eat a BANANANANANA (don't judge, you are thinking it too).
14. Lick a lollipop.
15. Do a squat or push up (for all the gym rats out there).
16. Snap your BFF a picture of your hottie with a body.
17. Slide under the table (I have contemplated this one).
18. Ask how their trip to Las Vegas was back in 2013 (Facebook stalking at 3am should be kept private).
19. Start playing their Tinder anthem out loud... I think they'll notice, sweetie.
20. Finally, I would just get TF out of there but leave your dignity and take your regret with you.
If a majority of the above has already happened to you, I recommend not giving a sh*t and do whatever you want. The relationship is already gone. Maybe unmatch if they haven't already.
sunrise
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future life together of adventures
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