my mind is an ocean
always stormy
and I can’t swim

old pictures of me laughing
I wish that I could feel
Like that again

The mood swings hit
Again
I try to hit them back

Cold nights
I throw my blankets off
and let the chill sink in

sunglasses
on a cloudy day
I hide the fact that I’m not sleeping

I was fine last week
What happened
Is this really me?

Is it possible
To drown
In your own mind?

Losing weight
Forgetting to eat
Nothing new to me

Hearing sounds
In my sleep
Flashes of light keep me awake.

Up my dose
Then forget
To pick up my prescription

Writing haiku
To keep me
From screaming

Am I doing this right
What am I
thinking

21 pages of poetry
But no single word
Is truly mine