In the Gospels, one can find out a lot about the life of Jesus Christ, and his mission during his time on Earth. This semester I had the opportunity to take a class that specifically studied the Gospels. While in this class, I realized that many times when different miracle stories are being told, the Gospel writer makes it seem as if this occurrence is normal. I feel as if the people that encountered these miracles actually had zero chill. Here are twelve times where I feel this is most apparent.
1. Jesus feeds 5000.
This story can be found in the Gospel of Matthew in chapter 14. So, there's this giant crowd of people that are just chilling on a hill, you know, about 5000 of them. No big deal. Anyway, Jesus and his disciples were just hanging out with this cool crowd of people when evening came. The disciples told Jesus that he should send the people home because there was no grub. But, Jesus, being the cool dude he is, said no. Then he came upon five loaves and two fish, and decided that they could adequately feed 5000 with just five loaves and two fish. But how?! Jesus took the five loaves and two fish, said a blessing, broke the bread, and gave it to the crowd. HE CASUALLY MULTIPLIED LOAVES AND FISH. There was enough for there to be twelve baskets of food left over. The crowds ate and were satisfied, and there was zero chill.
2. Jesus walks on water.
This story can be found in the Gospel of Matthew in chapter 14. Now, place yourself in this situation. After this really cool dude multiplies loaves of bread and some fish, he tells you to get in a boat. Well, he just did this super cool thing with bread and fish so y'all think that you should probably listen to him. So you and your pals get in the boat like Jesus said, and Jesus leaves you to go pray. You and your pals are just enjoying each others' company and taking a nice ride when Jesus decides to go for a little stroll ON THE WATER. Taken back by the sight of a man defying the laws of gravity and walking on water, y'all think that he is a ghost, but psych! IT'S JESUS. Jesus then commands your pal Peter to walk out onto the water and come to him. Peter does as Jesus asks, and THE ENTIRE BOAT WENT CRAZY! Zero chill.
3. Jesus reveals himself and vanishes.
This story is found in the Gospel of Luke in chapter 24. Imagine that you and your best pal are taking a little trip to the village Emmaus, and then this stranger begins to walk with you. (Psst.. the stranger is Jesus.) Now, you and your pal are a little on the sad side because this really cool dude who y'all thought was going to be a great prophet and redeem your nation has just died. This stranger walks with you and your pal, and he asks what y'all are talking about. Because you and your pal do not recognize that it is Jesus walking with you, you guys share with him the story about this great prophet. You continue to walk with this man, and when you reach Emmaus you invite this man to have dinner with you. While you are eating dinner, the stranger takes the bread, blesses it, breaks it, and gives it to you. As soon as he does this you realize that IT'S JESUS! But that's not it, then JESUS VANISHES! Gone. Just disappears. Ultimate mic drop. Absolutely no chill.
4. Jesus changes water into wine.
The story of the wedding feast at Cana is found in the Gospel of John in chapter 2. So, you and your pal now go to this wedding party at Cana. This dude Jesus, his mom, and all of his friends are there too. In the midst of all of the celebrating, the whine runs out. OH NO. So, Mary goes to Jesus and tells him that there is no more wine, and Jesus tells her to be patient. OH. SNAP. The sass! Jesus, being the super cool dude that he is knows just how to fix this. So, he tells the servants at the party to take the stone jars and fill them with water. Mary made sure that the servants listened to her sassy son, and they filled the jars. When they returned with the "water", one of the servers at the wedding took a taste and realized that IT. WAS. WINE. Jesus has done it once again! He made water into wine, and it was the best tasting wine! The party went on, and the guests had zero chill.
5. Jesus rises from the dead.
This account is found in each of the Gospels. So, as we have seen, there was this really cool dude named Jesus who went around doing some pretty amazing things. Still though, some people did not like this man. They accused him of blasphemy and crucified him. BUT, Jesus STILL isn't done being great! He died on the cross in order to save everybody and their sister. Then three days later, he decides that he needs to come back. So, HE RISES FROM THE DEAD! He spends a few days on Earth just walking around saying "Hey whats up?" to his BFFs before he decides that he should probably go spend time with his dad. Jesus died and decided that it wasn't chill so, he came back to life. Still zero chill.
Ultimately, Jesus is a no chill kind of guy. He is continually doing amazing things in everyday life and blowing people's minds. It's great and there's never any chill.
