I’ve always been a pretty insecure person. I don’t trust anyone and doubt everyone, except maybe Morgan Freeman. If you’re giving me an answer to something, you better repeat it three times and ignore my persistent “Are you sure?”s. According to the Myers-Briggs Personality Test, I have a problem with questioning authority. But I don’t really trust those things, anyway.
My parents, on the other hand, are some of the most confident people I know. They’re like superheroes, except probably not because I’ve never seen a cape in the wash... unless I just don't do laundry enough. (Note to self...) My mom trusts her gut and can do anything she sets her mind to, while my dad practically is always right. I remember him sitting down to teach me grade school math, and suddenly, he’d scribbled out the equation that connects the entire universe together. Thanks, Dad… but I still don’t understand fractions.
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I don’t know if you become a parent and suddenly you’re always right, or maybe there’s just something magical in their Cheerios that makes them consistently allowed to say, “I told you so.”
[Ahem.] For example, the following….
1. Yes, it is cold outside. And yes, I should have worn a coat.
2. Those bright pink, expensive Uggs aren’t cute and I don’t need them.
3. Yes, it’s normal that my stomach hurts occasionally. No, I’m not dying.
4. Yeah, I probably should have been home before 2:30 A.M. tonight. And sure, throwing a shoe at the window probably wasn’t the best way to get back in the house…
5. That guy was a jerk, and I probably shouldn’t have gone on a date with him. Nowadays, he’s somewhere in prison.
6. I know, I shouldn’t have spent $150 dollars on that thing. To be fair, I desperately needed it, but now I’m not sure why.
7. Turns out you're actually allowed to be aggressive and steal the ball in basketball. My bad.
8. You were right, I should have been wearing shoes outside. But can you please pull this thorn out of my toe?
9. I probably should have written down those directions you gave me. Now I’m in Kentucky.
10. No, I shouldn’t have drank that cup of coffee at 10 P.M. Wanna do an Irish jig with me?
11. You’re right. I should have cleaned my room because now I can’t find my credit card. Help?
12. My sister is cool and she is one of my best friends.
13. Yes, Dad, it is a perfect day for a banana fish.
14. I know I shouldn’t have been skateboarding down the hill -- can you take me to the hospital now?
15. That tiny jean mini-skirt was not a good idea, I know.
16. … I should have gotten dessert.
17. Yeah, speeding probably isn’t a good idea. By the way, I crashed the car.
18. I should have done laundry when you told me. But this spaghetti stain isn’t that big, is it?
19. I’m only 15. Repeat 15. I shouldn’t be doing freaky teenager things yet because I’m a child.
20. I know you said I shouldn’t shave my arm, but I did, and now I’m scared. Please call 911.
21. You said that “C” I got will not ruin my life. But I just wasted three days straight crying into my stuffed elephant Edgar.
When I was little, my mom always dutifully did my hair before school. She’d pin it up in these beautiful clips and barrettes, giving me such a unique look. Unfortunately, I was embarrassed to be different, and I’d tear down my hair the minute she dropped me off at the front doors. I wish I’d listened when she told me it was OK to be special and different.
Plus, her hairstyles were a lotcuter than those dumb Lily Pulitzer headbands that were so popular.
I still struggle with trusting people, and while I continue to gnaw off my nails while questioning, “Are you sure?” I’ll always know in the back of my mind that my mom and dad are right.
Also, parents, if you’re reading this….
I broke that one vase, not the cat. I shouldn't have been running in the house, you were right.
Love you!
