If you had a chance to do it all over again, would you do it?

A popular question that people ask all the time. The most common answer is “of course” most likely due to life’s regrets, but I’m beginning to see the beauty of trial by fire. That while most of us, including me, would like to have skipped the ugly, gross and painful times, they have made us who we are.

A stronger people. The classic “no pressure, no diamonds” deal; and it almost seems arrogant to assume that we could control our lives that much. Would our lives really avoid these bad situations? Could we avoid them at all? What if each new decision leads to an even more devastating outcome?

I’m a big fan of alternate history, as well as Sci-fi, and often, its extremely difficult to predict what would happen. There are too many variables. Too many possibilities. It gives me a headache!

To be honest, I would not want to go back and “do it all over again.” My life has had some difficult times, yes, but I would not be the man I am today if I had not stared death in the face. There is something about darkness that brings out light. A match needs a spark. We need a push.

Even the good times; why would we rather do something over again instead of experiencing something great for the first time? Why would we trade our future for something we’ve already known? Is it that man longs so much for comfort, that we would be willing to trade our entire lives for it?

Its taken me a long time to get to a point of contentment with life, and to be honest, I'm not 100% there yet. No one really is; and we are all on different spots on the journey to self-acceptance. Perhaps its our lack of self-acceptance that makes us long for the familiar. Long for whats gone past.

“The good old days.”

Of course, it's all perspective. As a 24-year-old man, I would not enjoy going back to childhood. My desires have changed. My needs have changed. My life isn’t what it used to be. I used to live for the next Tonka truck or an extra hour to play outside.

Now, I long for deep relationships with people. Telling the stories that have grown me into the man I’ve longed to be since my youth. I come from darkness, and at times it still ding dong ditches my thoughts, but I’ve learned how to turn on the hose and spray away all the worries of the day

I’m an external processor, in case you hadn’t noticed. While I can’t answer this question for you, it's important to ask: “Why would you want to go back?” Or really “What is it you are looking for there?”

Appreciate reality, and you’ll realize that is one of the most fantastic things in the universe.

To all of you, where ever, or whenever you are, I'm thankful for you trading your precious gift of time to read my thoughts and musings.