Time Passes.

The most beautiful things in life are not materialistic. It's the people and places,the pictures and all the memories. Life is truly a beautiful thing. As the seasons begin to change, rain falls and the flowers begin to bloom. Days go by and you start to realize how fast they really do go . Days turn into months and soon enough it'll be years before we even really know it. Learning how to find your way through it all with constant curve balls thrown your way. Dealing with grief has been one of the biggest setbacks. They say with time it gets easier but that's not necessarily true as more time passes they more i miss you. What i can say i have learned is, some days are easier than others. When those others set in, you begin to feel numb after a while. When the memories of you begin to flood your mind, all you can do is take it by the moments. Remembering all the times you enjoyed together. The tears begin to fade away but the pain definitely does not leave. It's like a part of you left the moment they did. You never feel the same. Leaves you wondering if someday you'll ever be okay again. There's so many big questions left unanswered. You're never prepared for the heartache and pain that's left. The physical loss that overwhelms us and hurts so tremendously. The imprint of our loved one is always with us. This Grief is we hold is constantly conflicting emotions. Grief is caused by the amount of love you have for your loved one. When you lose someone you can't imagine living your life without them along with you and your hearts badly broken. Unfortunately it will never heal the same. It's like breaking a bone that never healed perfectly and being reminded when it gets cold. You just never stop missing someone you love so dearly, you just learn to go around the huge void you feel in your heart. It has been countless days of pain and sorrow from the loneliness you feel inside. Even though you been gone some time, everyday feels like one to many. I never wanted to imagine a world without you here. I think that's when my anger begins to cloud my grief. The Grief we are all dealing with. The natural pain we all feel. There's so much i wanna tell you, when my heart aches with so much pain. When I want to ask you for advice and tell you what's consuming my mind. You are a huge part of my life that can never be replaced. I grew up having you in my life and i cannot grasp the reason why you were taken away from me. Did he really need you this soon? We have shared so many laughs, smiles, cramped hands from playing cards for such long hours. We spent time every single day together. How am i supposed to be okay missing you from my everyday life. Truth is, i'm not. You are supposed to be here. There was never a time i thought i wouldnt have you here with me helping me get through everything life throws at me. I have never considered the thought of you being gone till it hit me, the day you went home. You have always been there. You are such a remarkable person who made an impact on everyone's life that you knew. I hear stories about you. I see pictures of the younger you. I wish I could thank you for always being in my corner. Showing me right from wrong. You have shown me what unconditional love is. And You will always my biggest fan. I can say you were and still are in my book my best friend, one of the most influential people in my life, Which is why this hurts so much. I am so grateful to be able to say i have such the strongest, amazing and most selfless nana.