The concept of time passing is absolutely crazy to me. I could've sworn I was waiting in the Pearl, Mississippi DMV to take my driver's permit test yesterday, yet here I am about to begin my sophomore year of college. I feel as if each year goes by faster than the last, leaving me absolutely stunned at every New Year's Eve and birthday I celebrate.
A year ago, I was in one of the best places of my life. I had just graduated high school, turned 18, and was preparing to move off to college at Mississippi State. I was so excited to begin a new chapter, and was trying to soak everything about my hometown life up in my last few weeks living at home. Despite this good place I was in, I was also in one of the worst places of my life, if that makes a bit of sense. My then boyfriend had just broken up with me, which crushed me. I was also scared about moving away from my family and the place I had called home for so long.
I felt so uncertain of everything, and scared of the future. I just wanted answers and reassurance that my life would eventually turn itself around again. My feelings certainly were valid, however the passing of time provides healing, comfort, and answers. Despite what I thought a year ago, everything does get better eventually.
I was petrified that I would never find my people again. Making friends is one of my favorite things to do, however it typically takes me a longer time than most to open up and trust people. I had heard the saying that college brings you your best friends, but I could not bring myself to believe it. Not even a full year later, I have met the most amazing people from my brief freshman year at State. I have found my soulmate friends, my bridesmaids. It took some time, as most things do, but it was well worth it.
I was unsure of what I wanted to be when I graduated college. I kept doubting my major, and trying to change my career path. I was so scared that I would wind up hating my field of study, and in turn hating whichever career I pursued from there. But, with a lot of soul-searching, praying, researching, and one major change, I eventually decided to pursue nursing. The classes interest me, and the thought of spending my days in scrubs being able to help those that are sick brings a smile to my face every time. I went through a period of uncertainty, but I ended up making a choice that I am fully confident in.
I was heartbroken over the boy that I honestly hoped I would marry. I thought I was never going to get over him, and start over with someone new. I was sad, but I realized I could not stay sad forever. I began putting myself out there more, and eventually the thought of being single was not so horrible anymore. I entered new relationships, made mistakes, and finally made peace with my broken heart. Moving on was so hard to do, but time healed me.
Time is a wild card, and can bring you so many things you never expected before. I wish I could send this to the girl I was a year ago, to show her everything she was worried about turned out fine. I wish she had worried less about the future, and trusted that with time, all her fears and doubts would lessen. Whenever I feel anxious about the future, I just have to remember that time is a healer, and it brings answers too.
