Tammy Rivera married the rapper Wacka Flocka in May 2014, since they struggled and separated. Now while it is no secret that marriage is not easy, when announcing this past week that they had gotten back together, the Internet had a lot to say. They poked fun at them, they called her stupid, and a few other choice things. While it's known Wacka cheated during their marriage, to call her stupid for going back is not acceptable.
I will be the first one to say most of those who have something negative to say about a woman going back to her husband are the ones who have not had a spouse. They look at marriage and fairy tale stories on the same level. While marriage can be one of the most beautiful stories, it can also have some of the worst chapters on the whole book shelf.
I married at the age of 20, my husband was 22 years old. Depending who you talk to, we were either blessed for knowing so young or as stupid as they come. I'm still on the fence some days, but all in all I feel very blessed. When we got married, I swore everyone was against us. They kept asking, "Are you sure?" ”Wouldn't you rather throw a party instead?" We were not sure if people asked that because they cared, or because they just didn't hear us say "We are ready." One of my things going in was its going to go wrong at one point, and the sooner I accepted that part, the easier it would be when it came time for something to go wrong. I'm only 26 at this point, but I can honestly tell you I am happy with that mindset and the chapters it brought us to and through.
Hard times came and they took no prisoners. Not a single one. We have gone through a lot and then some. Now had we listened to everyone around us, we never would've stuck around to see any better days. I had more support and encouragement to leave then I ever have to stay, even a family member offering to pay for divorce. It was mind boggling to me. I knew it was a lot for us both to go through yet it wasn't worth throwing anything away. Marrying so young we knew we would be growing up together, and that means going through all of the things that you do at this age and sticking around for it all.
Do not get me wrong, some days leaving would be easier than staying. I know I have done things that have made my husband want to leave as well. But none of that is what we want, so how do you respond when that is your "only" option given. You work at it anyways, just as Tammy and Wacka are doing with their marriage. While some people do not take them serious as a reality TV couple, this is their life. She's not doing this for the cameras. If she did it for the cameras, they love a bitter ex wife way more than a happily married woman who has stuck through it all anyways. You make more money off of bitter, ask any lawyer.
So for everyone that has something negative to say about marriage, make sure you understand it before you tell people how they should act in their life. Before you giggle at someone going through marriage issues, know that God has their backs even if the world doesn't. For those of you who realize they don't get it and just let people live, you are more appreciated then you will ever know. Together, they will feel the blessings of working on it, instead of just throwing it away. After people get married, they are no longer dating, it's not quick to dissipate, it's definitely not "You are my wife...oops now you aren't!"
Our society is full of instant gratification nowadays; together with marriage, that doesn't always work out as quickly as people wish it did. For every marriage that is going through it, or has gone through it, bless everyone. First, figure out what outcome you want, and then take baby steps going back to it. Start over, try date nights, movie nights, focusing on each other and most importantly take those out who do not support you. It seems harsh until you are going through a time where you aren't so much in love, and you get a bad bug in your ear about leaving or divorcing. That is something you don't need. If you love them and they love you, then love each other through it all. One day it will all come together then you will be so glad you made the effort.
”Don't talk about problems you don't have..." -Alexandria Peoples
