If you do relationships right, it’s no secret that they can become some of the greatest learning experiences.
If for nothing else, they have the potential to teach us so much about ourselves. How ironic to think that one of the best ways to learn about yourself is to happily and willingly commit yourself to another person, but I speak from first-hand experience when I say that there is much more truth to that concept than one might expect.
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If I’m being honest, I’ve known that my boyfriend is an awesome guy since a time that was long before we actually became a couple. In fact, we were friends first, and started dating on what many would probably call an off chance. However, as the months of our relationship have gone by, I have become increasingly more grateful for the fact that I have him by my side.
I believe the first time that I truly realized that he was more than just a run of the mill boyfriend was when we had been dating for about a month and change, and I got into a car accident with him in the passenger seat. Don’t get me wrong, I knew that he was amazing before this occurrence, but I’m pretty sure that this was the first time that he dealt with me in a situation in which I was losing my cool. Instead of not knowing how to handle me in this state or walking away from the situation, he kept me calm and stood by me until everything was taken care of. I’m not sure why this struck me as something so valuable, but I think it might be because it lined up perfectly with a piece of advice that was given to me by one of my teachers in whom I often confided: “When you’re in a relationship with someone, you want them to be a life partner.” I guess in the simplest way possible, his actions on that day truly exemplified that concept, and knowing that I had found someone like him felt incredibly special to me.
With that small tidbit in mind, also realize that things were pretty simple when we first got together. It was summer, we spent most of our time together, and overall, we lived in what seemed like infinite bliss. Even before we started dating, there was never a doubt that he was someone who meant a lot to me, and so us becoming a couple was one of the most comfortable and natural things that I have ever experienced. Although it was probably one of the best summers we both ever had, this extreme happiness came with the ultimate catch— I was leaving for college in Fredonia, and he would be staying back home on Long Island.
As anyone can probably imagine, being in a long distance relationship is the farthest thing from ideal, and generally speaking, the transition into college also comes with a very large set of emotional swings. To make a long story short, the simplicity that we had lived with over our wonderful summer came to an end after the first few weeks of me being away at school. I don’t think either of us intended for the complexity that our relationship has come to, but at least for me, the fact that things have gotten difficult at times reminds me just how special he is to me, and also as a human being in general. In a world where a lot of guys probably wouldn’t have even attempted long distance, he has done that and then some. Even when I’m confused or unsure about a lot, including things that are critical to the survival of our relationship, he is there for me without question. At times, I even feel as if I don’t entirely deserve his patience and understanding. I have partially shut him out on many occasions of sadness or stress, and have put him through hell and back by doing so, which is something that I can’t go back and fix even if I tried. Whoever said that any relationship was easy is a liar; Love is not what they make it look like in Hollywood. Although it can be great, it also takes work, and if you’re anything like me, it also involves finding yourself on so many levels; maybe even ones that you didn’t know existed prior to the relationship.
To cut to the chase, I’m incredibly lucky to have someone in my life who is willing to see me at both my best and my worst, and who is willing to go on this journey with me, no matter what the outcome may be. My first relationship has not only taught me about what it means to be involved with another person, but has also shown me what unconditional love is, which is something that I don't think most people get out of their first serious dating experience. It has also shown me that loving someone isn’t always easy, but that if you’re doing something right, it makes it worth it in the end. As a young person, it’s easy to find these things confusing, but it makes it all the better when you have someone by your side who wants to work through the tough stuff just as much as they want to reap the benefits of all the greatness that a relationship can give off.
I’ll admit it: I’m unexperienced and I’m not always 100 percent sure of where this is going, but if there’s one thing I do know, it’s that I couldn’t be more thankful for what has been so far, and hopefully, what is yet to come.
I love you Andy. Thank you for being my best friend, my rock, and everything I ever could have wanted in my first relationship.
