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Politics and Activism

3 Things I'd Like Her To Know

"I don't hate you."

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3 Things I'd Like Her To Know
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My boy, who is like a friend, but more like a lover, is absolutely amazing.

His smile makes me nervous and the look in his eyes gets me weak in the knees. We bring a lot into each other's life. However, he does come with some baggage. He has a past that I accept. He has two children with another woman. I have accepted her role in their life, and would never ever change it. He's beyond good with my daughter. He's absolutely wonderful with her actually. I'm super thankful for all the chaos we bring into each other's life.

However, there are things I'd love her to know:

1. He is lucky to have you in his life.

You're a great mother and you are a great person. He tells me the best stories about you. You couldn't have picked a better man to start a family with. Whether he thanks you or not, I will. Because I appreciate all you have done for him and your beautiful children.

2. I want to meet you.

It makes me sad that you don't want anything to do with me based off of a prior altercation. Adults don't hold grudges; adults get over things and start anew. I'm sorry that you are so tied up with the past, that you're missing what is in front of you. I'm thrilled to meet you. You birthed two amazing children. A daughter that's so full of life and character. And a son who's so much like his dad that it makes me grin. I don't hold anything against you.

3. I don't hate you.

I don't hate you. I can't imagine why you would feel as if I did. It's hard moving on from someone. We've all had to do it. Sometimes we just wake up and realize that things that used to be just aren't anymore. Love is lost. But that doesn't mean you have to hate each other, or hate the person your ex-significant other chose to be with. Don't hate them. Instead, open your heart for a trial and error run. I am not going anywhere; I am here for the long run and you will have to deal with me on a weekly basis. So, we may as well get used to one another.


There is a lot more that I could say to you, but I won't. Just know you'll always be okay in my book. I don't hate you and I don't want you to hate me. I want to just be able to be around when you're around. We don't have to talk, or be friends. We don't even have to make eye contact. But when you leave, know your kids are in good hands. They'll never be harmed. They'll never call me mom, because I'm not their mom. I don't want to be their mom. I have my own daughter who calls me mom. Your children are just an added blessing to my relationship with their father.

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