Drug use starts as a choice but too often turns into an illness. An illness that overpowers, and often ends, the lives of millions around the world. An illness called "addiction". The addiction not only impacts the addict but instead impacts everyone who comes in contact with them. Loving someone with an addiction is hard. Your love for an addict overtakes your every thought, every action, and every prayer. I have seen loved ones loose their battle with drug addiction and I have seen loved ones overcome. Many do not believe in addiction. Honestly, I am jealous for those who have that luxury. I hope you never have to experience it first hand. But I beg you, please-- before you offer your "opinion" or spread your gossip, make sure you have walked in my shoes. Walk in the shoes of someone who loves an addict then look me in the eye and tell me it is not an illness. I have seen drug (and even alcohol) addiction in the lives of way too may loved ones. Loving an addict is the hardest thing I have ever done. Loving an addict can somewhat be summed up into the following three "h's": hurt, heartbreak, and hate.

Hurt

When you first find out about a loved one being addicted to drugs, you are hurt. Why are they doing this? Is "getting high" and risking their life really more important than their loved ones? An addict's addiction hurts everyone. Families fall apart, parents fight to save their children, children loose parents, siblings watch as their brothers and sisters become a different person, spouses fight, marriages end, tears fall from the eyes of those who you did not even know cried. You watch the arguments, hear the screams, endure the sleepless nights, and see the tears.

Heartbreak

Your heart breaks. The heartbreak is so extreme that your chest literally hurts and you feel as if your heart has crumbled into a million little pieces. Your loved one is not even the same person anymore. They do not have the same personality. They do not participate in activities and hobbies that, normally, they would have never missed. They do not attend major events, like high school graduations, that they should be at. Everything gets broken: relationships, families, laws, and trust. Your heart hurts because all you want to do is help them but the more you try, the worse it seems to get. You cry, pray, beg, and plead. You ask "WHY are you doing this?!" You just want your loved one back. Your heart hurts as you watch your friend, parent, sibling, grandparent, etc., lie and steal in order to feed their addiction. Your first thoughts everyday are filled with wondering if today is the day the drugs will win. Your heart hurts when your phone rings as you fear for the worst.

Hate

The hurt and heartbreak quickly turns into hate. As a Christian, hate is a word I try to keep out of my vocabulary but I can honestly say I HATE drugs with every single ounce of my being. I do not hate my loved ones for falling into this awful trap. I hate the drugs and the drug deals. I hate the effects that the drugs have on my loved ones-- on their actions, thoughts, and words. If you love someone who is addicted to drugs, the thought of drugs often infuriates you. You cringe at the thought of anyone doing them. You cannot comprehend why someone would want to put stuff that harmful into their bodies. You hate the addiction and the things it has taken away from you. Addictions take away family members, cause missed opportunities, and create problems for everyone involved.

Addiction does not see race, religion, economic status, or morals. Addiction does not care if you came from the "best" family around or a struggling home. Addiction does not care if your daddy is a preacher or you were raised by someone other than your parents. Addiction will take over even the strongest of people if the opportunity comes its way. Loving an addict has caused me to constantly be scared. I am scared of drugs. I am scared that addiction will continue to overtake my loved ones-- even after they seem to have won. The fight with addiction will always be there but I pray that my loved ones, myself, your loved ones, and even you will rise above and overcome.