In Feb., I inherited a Facebook page by the name, “Everything Nerdy and Anything in Between” to become one of only 20-something admins managing a page of what now has 190,000 fans worldwide. I had entered in a contest on a fluke, hoping by some chance that the judges, the other admins, would find me funny and think that I had a positive presence on social media. They did.
I stepped through a new portal, a community of supportive admins and fans, both of whom I loved to interact, share jokes and talk about movies with - discuss other fun things that unite nerds across borders from New York, United States to Sydney, Australia to Islamabad, Pakistan and then some. They had “nerdy” Pinterest accounts, art sites, a viral Tumblr blog called Dark Willow While. I don’t entirely support the idea of labels and boxes ironically, but I am willing to identify myself as a nerd, so long as that doesn’t become my only identity.
My identity was key. Upon reading my acceptance letter, I had less than 24 hours to come up with a pseudonym for myself. Some people named themselves after superheroes, fictitious characters and generically geeky names like The Supreme Overlord and Toothless (a reference to DreamWorks’ How to Train Your Dragon). I cycled through my own possible pen-names. I could name myself after one of the angsty webcomics I used to write. Or the Squirrelly Crusader, a ‘secret identity’ that I chose when I decked out in a cape, mask, and wooden sword and masqueraded around the Reed Hall dorm as a joke. Every time a name popped into my head, it was followed by a quote from an old Nickelodeon series I used to watch: “Funny guy. Funny nickname.”
Sticking with the 2000s Nickelodeon theme, I decided to declare myself Box Ghost, a running gag character in one of my favorite childhood cartoons, Danny Phantom. The Box Ghost was known for announcing his presence with loudness: “beware,” or, “fear me.”
But at first, I didn’t make people beware. I made them laugh. Every day, I would post something, usually of my own creation, ranging from a meme about Captain America to some kind of Disney pun to a Weird Al-style parody of Taylor Swift songs and anything in between. People loved them. I received comments adoring me. “This is literally is the best thing ever,” or “You are now my favorite admin.” Both of these, of course, are exaggerations. I’d like to think that there have been better things ever than a picture of a model in a Pokemon mask, and I hope that there are more important people in my fans’ lives, like someone who’s working on a cure for cancer or fighting for women's rights in Saudi Arabia. Still, I was glad to see that I had made people happy, made them laugh, put an emoji on their faces.
We, for the most part, stayed out of politics. We vocalized support for the Supreme Court marriage equality ruling in 2015 and occasionally made some pro-feminist posts, but other than that, the only politics we got involved in were those of fictional worlds. Then, presidential candidates started reeling in. I can’t remember who the first one to announce was, probably some radical rightist like Ted Cruz. Regardless, one came in, and the rest followed like sheep following the Donald Trump herder. And I just had to make a joke about it. Originally, I tested the idea on my own profile. I had made sarcastic posts in the past, fake biographical information and such.
Today, I would like to announce my candidacy for President of the United States in the 2016 election. I will be running under the platform of free hugcare, affordable Starbucks, and to pull us out of the War on Nic Cage. I also want stronger relations with the Kingdom of Narnia and a firmer defense of the moral principles that America lost when we turned our backs on the Great Arceus (Pokemon reference). Box Ghost 2016.
On both my own profile and Everything Nerdy, likes blew up. Thousands of them. Comments, too. People asked me questions on my stance involving Dragons’ rights and whether or not I’d pass a law defending the Oxford comma. And without even questioning my rhetoric, people pledged their allegiance to me. Several of them didn’t even have citizenship in the States. Obviously, they were joking. I don’t have much faith in people, myself included, but I believe that anybody who pledges a vote to someone based on the promise of discounted Frappuccinos probably isn’t actually going to commit to that. However, ironically or in seriousness, voters supported the campaign.
When I’m president, I will make sure that we have free trade between Blue and Red versions, as well as Silver and Gold. I dream of a world where we can trade fairly with all of the six regions.
I tried to surplus the amount of pop-culture references. The more ridiculous, the better. And I tried to vary it up between mocking Liberal and Conservative ideas, as to not take a formal stance on either side. Eventually, I didn’t even talk about policy. I would just mock the political system.
When somebody asked a question, I would respond with something along the lines of, insert political rant that doesn’t answer anything.
I would make posts that had nothing to do with improving or maintaining the country. Sometimes, I would say things that were clearly harmful
Also, when in office, I will disband all parties that I am not invited to.
Or...
I am accepting campaign donations in the form of Dollars, Pounds, Euro, Bitcoin, time and effort, a piece of your soul, or the heart of a slain unicorn. Every cent and bloodstain is important to make sure I win this election and become your next president in power.
At one point, I even released an attack ad on Marvel’s Deadpool, whom I claimed was an opponent of mine that wanted to, “put katanas into the hands of criminals,” and, “make sarcasm the national language.” While the gist supports various policies, the language in the post was so brutal that it wasn’t even about the gun control and immigration debates that I was alluding to. The rhetoric, which may be unfit to write here, was so vicious that it was really showing how hostile politicians can get.
Yet, I still got support. And while, again, my fan base was commenting in jest, what’s to stop people from reading these posts out of context and taking them seriously? I could’ve easily gone on FOX News and gotten followers to worship me like I were Glen Beck. I am not saying that this was immoral. It was all in fun, and I carried it out in the same style as one of my favorite comedians, Stephen Colbert.
But it’s still alarming. People vote for extremists like Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, and The Rent is Too Damn High Guy. With an increasingly polarizing nation and fear of revolt from both the bitter-oppressed Left and the anti-Caitlin Jenner Right, I may not have supported either of those ends, but I did show that the political system as a whole needs to change. For starters, money in politics, gerrymandering, and Congressional salaries should all be cut. Elections should be run based on who has the best ideas, not a Two Party system fueled by attack ads and misleading language. If we want this country to thrive and stay healthy, revolution and party dominance won’t solve anything. We need to reform our politics so we can get on track with policy.
My name is Eric Krinick, and this is a message that I actually approve.
