If you live in the City of Brotherly Love like me, then you're well aware of the "yuppie" coffee shops that are popping up on every corner. If you haven't noticed? Then, well, you're probably a yuppie. Here are some things that every Philadelphian has experienced in their local yuppie coffee shop:
Ordering a drink you can't pronounce and don't really know what it is.
“Hi, can I get the mochacchino with foam, whip, and coffee?”
Overpaying for. . .everything.
$7.00 for a PSL that tastes like cardboard? I've had it five times this week and it's only Monday!
"We can't make that iced."
When you randomly pick something on the menu because you don't know what any of it is and ask for it iced, but they can't do it because then it would just be "watered down." Okay, can I just get a damn coffee then?
Would you like the Dark, Light, or Mixed Roast?
I would like the coffee roast with the normal bean.
Watching the barista make a drink is like watching an artistic performance.
I have no idea what's happening but it's beautiful.
"We actually don't have straws."
True story, one time I went to a coffee shop, a lady asked for straws and got judged for it because she didn't use the sippy cup top.
Or they have paper straws.
Paper straws are the absolute worst. They immediately become soft and the liquid doesn't even come through. Just pour the drink in my mouth at that point.
Want whip with that? Will never be heard.
Every drink is artisanal and must not be destroyed with creamer or whipped cream.
