1. Why am I here?

I don't need a college education... McDonald's is calling my name. I can be happy with minimum wage forever and ever, and I can work my way up in the management system! I'll still take over the world some day, even without a college education. Muahaha!

2. I think I forgot all of my social skills over the summer.

I am socially inept. I don't remember how to people. I had my very tight circle over the summer, and now, I'm expected to just jump on in and socialize with everybody and their dog and I just can't. OK? I'm just going to be mute.

3. Everybody is on their phone in order to avoid social awkwardness.

Maybe everybody else is just as socially inept as me? Cool.

4. Why do people dress up so much for the first day of school?

I really don't understand why you think that your gown and heels are school appropriate. I'm distracted by the shiny things on your dress and trying to figure out how to walk in those shoes.

5. Audible yawns are rude.

Stop it. You are a grown adult. You can contain your yawn for the hour and 15 minutes we are in this lecture hall. Trust me, the rest of us want to be here just as much as you do, including the teacher. It's pretty disrespectful. (Shout out to the coolest Medical Law & Ethics/Economics teacher ever!) Also, your yawn is not as cute as this puppy dog's yawn.

6. So I understand that most people bathe before the first day of school and generally want to look nice...

but does that mean you have to bathe in the cologne or perfume? My nose truly cannot handle it.

7. It's funny how on the second day of class, people are already dressing in workout clothes and their hair is in a bun.

Most people don't look as put together as this girl does, but you get the point. It's a good thing I'm not alone on this shorts and hair in bun loop!

8. All these freshmen with their books all fresh from the bookstore on campus crack me up, like an egg.

Who pays that outrageous price past the first semester of college? You never make that mistake twice, that's for sure.

9. Oh, finally! A familiar face in this sea of freshmen, a breath of fresh air, a gift from God.

Halllllllelujah! I feel like I've just won the world's hardest game of Where's Waldo.

10. I'm so grateful for my bed.

I have nice sheets and a cool blanket and some awesome pillows. Not to mention my curtains do a great job of blocking out the sunlight! Whoever invented beds should be given a million high-fives. My bed resembles a little piece of heaven after my first long week back at school. Also, I'm pretty grateful that I get the opportunity to go to college.