Thoughts You Have While Going To The Movies Alone

For many of us, this is a 'reel' problem.

Gabrielle Payne

Apr 25, 2016

Kent State University

Thoughts You Have While Going To The Movies Alone

1. It is a rainy Saturday, and I am going to go see a matinee of "Zootopia" alone.

2. It has been 30 seconds since I made this decision... I am already regretting everything.

3. Why do none of my 500 Facebook friends want to accompany me to the cinema?

4. I am doing a Facebook detox.

5. If I post a status about asking someone to see the movie with me then Grandma will tell all her friends at Bridge Club and then my relatives will think I’m lonely.

6. Which I’m not.

7. I am so not lonely. I go on dates. I receive occasional direct messages on Instagram. I have an adequate following on Snapchat.

8. I do listen to sappy Dixie Chicks ballads every once in a while. I do weep during ASPCA commercials.

9. But I am not lonely.

10. I am going to the movies alone.

11. I am 20 years old and I am seeing a G-rated Disney film alone.

12. It got a 98 percent on rottentomatoes.com.

13. Okay, I did it. I am here in the line to buy my ticket.

14. Everyone knows I am here alone.

15. Should I tell them my friend is on his way?

16. Would that be too rehearsed?

17. I am wearing a fun sweater and a cool necklace. I look like I am trying too hard to impress myself.

18. Why does everyone around me look like they are on their honeymoon?

19. Why are the most affectionate couples to ever exist standing beside me in this very line?

20. Why couldn't I even get Grandma to come see it with me?

21. “How can I help you?” the ticket booth lady asks with judging eyes “One ticket for 'Zootopia,'” I say feebly. I want to hide under a rock.

22. The cat’s out of the bag. Yes, everyone, I am here alone.

23. You know what? Who cares!? I am going to get a large popcorn and put M&M’s in it, okay!? This is going to be a great day!

24. Why do I need to take out a down payment just to afford these Skittles?

25. Why didn’t I sneak a sub sandwich in my bag?

26. Okay, it's happening. I am entering the third room on the left.

27. And now the daunting question that I had been dreading: where do I sit?

28. I have never sat down so fast in my life.

29. I panicked. Why did I sit down in the row with the awkward gap between the front half of seats?

30. I know I have been listening to Dixie Chicks, but I really do not want these wide open spaces.

31. I have both arm rests, wow, this was an unanticipated surprise.

32. I have never sprawled out in a chair like this in my life!

33. I look weird.

34. Half of my popcorn is gone.

35. I wish I ate at a normal, human pace.

36. I am choking on a kernel.

37. My eyes are watering now.

38. I am coughing profusely as I sit alone in a children’s movie surrounded by happy families and everyone is staring at me so now I am sure I have never felt more awkward in my life.

39. I know I just caused a scene and maybe this is the humiliation/desperation talking, but this is seriously the best popcorn I’ve ever consumed.

40. All of these trailers are for kids movies.

41. They look flippin’ fantastic.

42. Why did I just think the word “flippin?”

43. Also snowballing off of that, why am I undateable?

44. I am fun. I have good mental math skills. I am great at avoiding small talk. Why am I single, please riddle me this.

45. A funny trailer.

46. I laughed.

47. If I laugh out loud and no one is around to hear it, am I lame?

48. If a tree falls down in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

49. I have so much arm space.

50. Does the Oracle of Bacon truly exist? How many links would it take to connect him to Bonnie Hunt?

51. If I have to go to the bathroom, I’ll just go.

52. I don’t even need to ask anyone.

53. But then who will fill me in on what I missed?

54. Where are my friends?

55. I should have gotten Mike and Ike candy.

56. Wow, the movie is already over.

57. Veni, vidi, vici.

58. I am so empowered right now. I can do anything. What's next? Solo coffee shop trips?

59. I am independent. I am hip.

60. I will start a Wordpress blog.

61. Rottentomatoes.com was right and this flick was absolute worth the 90th percentile.

62. I regret nothing.

63. Bonnie Hunt was in "Dave" with Faith Prince who was in "Picture Perfect" with Kevin Bacon.

64. 10/10 would recommend going to the movies alone any time.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Thoughts You Have While Going To The Movies Alone

For many of us, this is a 'reel' problem.

1. It is a rainy Saturday, and I am going to go see a matinee of "Zootopia" alone.

4. I am doing a Facebook detox.

5. If I post a status about asking someone to see the movie with me then Grandma will tell all her friends at Bridge Club and then my relatives will think I’m lonely.

8. I do listen to sappy Dixie Chicks ballads every once in a while. I do weep during ASPCA commercials.

9. But I am not lonely.

10. I am going to the movies alone.

11. I am 20 years old and I am seeing a G-rated Disney film alone.

16. Would that be too rehearsed?

19. Why are the most affectionate couples to ever exist standing beside me in this very line?

20. Why couldn't I even get Grandma to come see it with me?

21. “How can I help you?” the ticket booth lady asks with judging eyes “One ticket for 'Zootopia,'” I say feebly. I want to hide under a rock.

22. The cat’s out of the bag. Yes, everyone, I am here alone.

23. You know what? Who cares!? I am going to get a large popcorn and put M&M’s in it, okay!? This is going to be a great day!

24. Why do I need to take out a down payment just to afford these Skittles?

25. Why didn’t I sneak a sub sandwich in my bag?

26. Okay, it's happening. I am entering the third room on the left.

28. I have never sat down so fast in my life.

30. I know I have been listening to Dixie Chicks, but I really do not want these wide open spaces.

31. I have both arm rests, wow, this was an unanticipated surprise.

32. I have never sprawled out in a chair like this in my life!

33. I look weird.

34. Half of my popcorn is gone.

35. I wish I ate at a normal, human pace.

36. I am choking on a kernel.

37. My eyes are watering now.

38. I am coughing profusely as I sit alone in a children’s movie surrounded by happy families and everyone is staring at me so now I am sure I have never felt more awkward in my life.

40. All of these trailers are for kids movies.

42. Why did I just think the word “flippin?”

43. Also snowballing off of that, why am I undateable?

44. I am fun. I have good mental math skills. I am great at avoiding small talk. Why am I single, please riddle me this.

45. A funny trailer.

47. If I laugh out loud and no one is around to hear it, am I lame?

48. If a tree falls down in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

49. I have so much arm space.

50. Does the Oracle of Bacon truly exist? How many links would it take to connect him to Bonnie Hunt?

51. If I have to go to the bathroom, I’ll just go.

52. I don’t even need to ask anyone.

53. But then who will fill me in on what I missed?

54. Where are my friends?

55. I should have gotten Mike and Ike candy.

56. Wow, the movie is already over.

57. Veni, vidi, vici.

58. I am so empowered right now. I can do anything. What's next? Solo coffee shop trips?

59. I am independent. I am hip.

60. I will start a Wordpress blog.

63. Bonnie Hunt was in "Dave" with Faith Prince who was in "Picture Perfect" with Kevin Bacon.

64. 10/10 would recommend going to the movies alone any time.

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By: James McDonald

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

Recommended for you

We are all more than just one sign.

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

An open letter to the good-hearted people.

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