Just a few of the thoughts that crossed my mind while I was writing a history essay last week.

1. So does he want a thesis? Does he not want a thesis?? Can this man make his MIND OH MY LORD.

2. I don’t understand how this is supposed to be four to five pages. What is the purpose of making it that long?? I’m just going to put useless fluff in to make the page requirement anyway so why have one?

3. Who cares about this essay topic? No one. I bet he doesn't even care about this topic.

4. If I type it single-spaced, it’ll trick me into thinking I’m actually writing less; but when I double-space it, I will be pleasantly surprised to find out I wrote SO MUCH.

5. When was the last time I ate? I think I deserve a snack break.

6. Would he notice if I cursed the syllabus halfway through a paragraph? I feel like he’s not going to read this in full anyways.

7. Why doesn’t this have a rubric why why why.

8. Why are we writing in a style that isn’t MLA? Just make us do it in MLA. We aren’t historians. Please.

9. Wow, this textbook makes me want to rip my eyeballs out.

10. What is that noise outside? Are the aliens finally coming to take me away??

11. Nope. It’s a snow plow. Great.

12. … And we’re ten words in. I’d say I deserve a nap.