When MARVEL first announced that they had recast the role of Spider-Man, I was apprehensive. They already had two different actors as Spider-Man, why would you do another?
Then they announced that he was going to make his debut in the new Captain America movie. That interested me. Actually, it more than interested me. I was ecstatic.
It would be the first time Spider-Man would appear alongside the Avengers on the big screen. It was something I never thought would ever happen because of rights issues between MARVEL and Sony. But we were finally going to get it and I could not be more excited.
Then I went and saw this new Captain America movie and I was sold. This Spider-Man would be a perfect combination of Peter Parker and Spider-Man. And he would be getting his own movie.
Which leads us to the present.
"Spider-Man Homecoming".
So without further ado, here are my thoughts while watching the newest installment of the newest web-slinging hero.
******************* SPOILER ALERT ****************************
-Seeing SONY in the beginning was an actual miracle
-Peter's high school was soooo accurate
-Peter always itching to go out and be Spider-Man, acting just like a normal kid would
-Grand. Theft. Bicycle. Plus the note he left behind
-Peter helping the lady with directions and her buying him a churro for his troubles
-Him just being the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man
-"Do a flip!" *Peter does a flip* *cheers from the random guy*
-Peter constantly texting Happy updates only to never get a response
-Him only taking off half of his mask to eat and talk on the phone Which is much safer for someone who wants to keep his identity a secret
-Peter being awkward while stopping the robbers, because same
-The picture the news uses for Spider-Man is him coming out of a porta-potty with toilet paper on his foot
-Michelle doing "push ups" with her book I mean same
-Ned wanting to be Peter's "guy-in-the-chair"
-Peter being a 15-year old kid
-Ned and his Party hat
-Michelle eating toast at a party I mean, again, same
-Peter having to run through a golf course in the suburbs because he can't swing from buildings there
-Ned's ringtone is perfect
-Peter saying hello to a random dog in someone's yard SAME
-Flash Thompson being a "modern bully" (stuck-up rich kid)
-The random kids playing chess and asking Ned why he's hiding around a corner
-Ned wearing Peter's mask
-Peter standing upside down on his ceiling just because he can
-Michelle wanting to get in some "light protesting before dinner"
-He's just a kid
-The "Training Wheels Protocol"
-"Activating Instant Kill"
"What?! No! I don't want to kill anyone!"
Pause
"Deactivating Instant Kill"
-Peter calling his suit's AI suit-lady until he settles on Karen
-Peter calling the Vulture, Big Bird Thank you Spider-Man snark
-Peter asking Karen for dating advice even though she's a computer
-*Peter does random things trying to keep occupied while he’s stuck*
"How long have we been here?"
"37 minutes"
"WHAT?!"
-Spider-Man climbing to the top of the Washington Monument
-Peter freaking out at the top of the monument because he's never been that high up before
-The really lame and terrible student news in the mornings at Peter’s schoolSoooo painfully accuate
-The Captain America videos they show at Gym class and in detention
-Michelle "I-like-to-sketch-people-in-crisis" Jones
-Peter's stash under his locker First off, how?!
-The "Baby Monitor Protocol"
-Peter and Ned's handshake
-Peter awkwardly asking Liz to homecoming and being an adorable nerd
-Peter looking up how to tie a tie online Don’t talk to me about how he doesn’t really have a father figure in his life, I CAN’T HANDLE IT
-May dancing with Peter in the living room
-May quizzing Peter about what he’s going to do when he meets up with Liz
-Liz’s dad answering the door and me internally screaming “I CALLED IT”
-The awkward date pictures Again, sooooo painfully accurate
-Liz showing Peter funny things on her phone and using the front facing camera to check her hair so relatable
-Liz’s dad driving the two to the dance BECAUSE THEY’RE KIDS
-Michelle seeing Peter and instantly flipping him off What a great friend
-Peter having to use his old homemade suit A for effort Peter
-Ned using Peter’s webshooters to save him YESSS NED
-Peter stealing Flash’s car and then having no idea how to drive it BECAUSE HE’S FIFTEEN
-Ned taking up the title of “guy-in-the-chair” and using the school’s computers to help Peter
-When Ned’s caught and his first excuse for being on school computers during a dance is porn I honestly cried laughing
-After Peter is trapped beneath a parking garage with no help/advanced suit, he realizes that he’s Spider-Man, not the suit Ta-da! He’s back baby!
-Peter saving Vulture even though he doesn’t have to Spider-Man fights for everyone
-Spider-Man leaving all the crashed supplies and the Vulture all webbed up nicely for Happy You should have listened Happy!
-“My friends call me MJ.” I. KNEW. IT.
-“What are you hiding, Peter?”
Pause
“I’m just kidding, bye.”
-Happy talking to Peter in the school’s bathroom and being really heartfelt and sincere
-Only to have a toilet flush and a kid walk out awkwardly Honestly that kid is me
-Tony asking Peter to be an Avenger and offering him a new suit. All he has to do is say yes and there will be a press conference… like right away
-Peter deciding he needs to be a kid first and saying no SO PROUD SWEETIE
-Peter walking away only to ask if it were a test
Tony says yes and that the press conference wasn’t real. So Peter goes to wait in the car
-Pepper yelling at Tony and Happy for screwing it up I nearly screamed when she walked out
-Spoiler alert: press conference was totally real So much for a big reveal
-Tony defending Peter saying that he actually made a very grown-up decision and Pepper telling them they still have a ton of people to deal with
-Pepper AHHHHHHH
-Tony having Happy carrying around a ring since 2008
-PEPPER FREAKING POTTS
-Pepper looking shocked but then rolling her eyes and walking back into the press conference
-Tony catching the ring that Happy tossed at him and closing the door Again, that sound is me screaming in happiness
-Peter arriving back to his apartment only to find a bag on his bed with his suit in it
-Peter trying it on and slipping off his mask
-“WHAT THE-“ Me actually screaming at that part
-THE POST CREDIT SCENE
-THE POST-POST CREDIT SCENE
