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9 Thoughts You Have While You're Sick In College

WHERE TF IS MY MOM?

Cassie Thorson

Mar 20, 2018

University of Wisconsin, Madison

683

9 Thoughts You Have While You're Sick In College

Kelly Sikkema

There are many dreadful things in this world — especially getting sick, which is something all of us avoid, but eventually always end up succumbing to.

Trust me when I say that I have had plenty of experiences being sick in college, despite my short stay.

As only a second semester freshman, I have already been struck with the flu, bronchitis and mono, and I still have two months left to go. Despite the differences in the illness I have endured, there are a few thoughts that remain the same.

1. WHERE TF IS MY MOM?

This is not a want, but a need. This woman didn’t even get a degree in medicine but she is still the best doctor out there.

2. I pay tens of thousands of dollars for this, and yet no one is here taking care of me why exactly…?

Shouldn’t I have my own personal nurse or something for the absurdity of that price?

3. I’m never riding the public bus again.

Again, shouldn’t I have a limo with all that money I’m putting down?

4. Scratch that, I’m never leaving my dorm again.

It was nice knowin' y’all!

5. Do you think if I send a picture of my puke to my professor that will work as a medical excuse?

It’s college... those attendance points are essential, okay.

6. They’re gonna think I’m hungover... I swear I’m not hungover!

But maybe one too many thirsty Thursdays are why my immune system is crap in the first place...

7. I can’t do this.

I NEED to drop out. It’s seriously the only option if I want to keep my life at this point.

8. What did I do to deserve this?

I should’ve forwarded that chain text message from sixth grade.

9. The bathroom floor isn’t really that dirty, right?

Good, because I’m about to lay on it. If I don’t die from whatever I’m battling currently, I absolutely will form whatever infection I catch from this nasty ass tile afterwards.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Student Life

Syllabus Week As Told By Kourtney Kardashian

Feeling Lost During Syllabus Week? You're Not Alone!

University of Iowa

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Winter break is over, we're all back at our respective colleges, and the first week of classes is underway. This is a little bit how that week tends to go.

The professor starts to go over something more than the syllabus

Kuwtk Keeping Up With The Kardashians GIFfrom Kuwtk GIFs

You get homework assigned on the first day of class

There are multiple group projects on the syllabus

Kardashian GIFfrom Kardashian GIFs

You learn attendance is mandatory and will be taken every class

Professor starts chatting about their personal life and what inspired them to teach this class

Participation is mandatory and you have to play "icebreaker games"

Everybody is going out because its 'syllabus week' but you're laying in bed watching Grey's Anatomy

Looking outside anytime past 8 PM every night of this week

Nobody actually has any idea what's happening this entire week

Kourtney Kardashian Keeping Up With The Kardashians GIFfrom Kourtney Kardashian GIFs

Syllabus week is over and you realize you actually have to try now...or not

Whatever GIFfrom Meh GIFs

Now it's time to get back into the REAL swing of things. Second semester is really here and we all have to deal with it.

syllabus week

Lifestyle

Signs You Worked At Panera Bread In High School

Chips, apple or bread?

Ithaca College

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Whether you specialized in ringing people up or preparing the food, if you worked at Panera Bread it holds a special place in your heart. Here are some signs that you worked at Panera in high school.

1. You own so many pairs of khaki pants you don’t even know what to do with them

Definitely the worst part about working at Panera was the uniform and having someone cute come in. Please don’t look at me in my hat.

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Politics and Activism

7 Ways to Make Your Language More Transgender and Nonbinary Inclusive

Making the world safer through language.

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7 Ways to Make Your Language More Transgender and Nonbinary Inclusive

With more people becoming aware of transgender and non-binary people, there have been a lot of questions circulating online and elsewhere about how to be more inclusive. Language is very important in making a space safer for trans and non-binary individuals. With language, there is an established and built-in measure of whether a place could be safe or unsafe. If the wrong language is used, the place is unsafe and shows a lack of education on trans and non-binary issues. With the right language and education, there can be more safe spaces for trans and non-binary people to exist without feeling the need to hide their identities or feel threatened for merely existing.

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Recommended for you

9 Thoughts You Have While You're Sick In College

WHERE TF IS MY MOM?

1. WHERE TF IS MY MOM?

2. I pay tens of thousands of dollars for this, and yet no one is here taking care of me why exactly…?

3. I’m never riding the public bus again.

4. Scratch that, I’m never leaving my dorm again.

5. Do you think if I send a picture of my puke to my professor that will work as a medical excuse?

6. They’re gonna think I’m hungover... I swear I’m not hungover!

7. I can’t do this.

8. What did I do to deserve this?

9. The bathroom floor isn’t really that dirty, right?

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Excitement

Relief

Excitement (again)

Sadness

Feeling Lost During Syllabus Week? You're Not Alone!

The professor starts to go over something more than the syllabus

You get homework assigned on the first day of class

There are multiple group projects on the syllabus

You learn attendance is mandatory and will be taken every class

Professor starts chatting about their personal life and what inspired them to teach this class

Participation is mandatory and you have to play "icebreaker games"

Everybody is going out because its 'syllabus week' but you're laying in bed watching Grey's Anatomy

Looking outside anytime past 8 PM every night of this week

Nobody actually has any idea what's happening this entire week

Syllabus week is over and you realize you actually have to try now...or not

Chips, apple or bread?

1. You own so many pairs of khaki pants you don’t even know what to do with them

2. Chips, apple or bread is probably your most repeated phrase

3. Taking bakery items with you out to parties was a must

4. Taking bakery items home to your parents was also a must (if you wanted to live)

5. Your friends expected you to give them free stuff

6. Being put on dishes made you question humanity

7. You saw everyone and their mother (especially their mothers)

8. Working the opening shift was actually the worst thing to ever happen to you

9. Being able to predict what people would order

10. Making coffee was your least favorite thing to do

11.Being put on the dining room was the absolute WORST

12. Secretly putting in your Panera card number when other people didn’t have them or want them.

13. You would still come in on days you weren’t working to take advantage of your discount

It's Been a Long Winter Break

Making the world safer through language.

1. Use singular they for people whose pronouns you don't know, people who use those pronouns, and stop using him/her.

2. Stop using the words "opposite sex" or "both sexes" or "opposite gender" or "both genders".

3. Ask people's pronouns when you meet them.

4. Use the word cisgender.

5. Stop saying "born a boy/girl" about a transgender or non-binary person.

6. Stop using the term 'preferred pronouns'.

7. Stop using a transgender or non-binary person's dead name.

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