Riding in an airplane is quite the experience -- whether you love it, loathe it, or feel indifferent as long as you get from location A to B. Putting your life in the hands of someone you've never met (i.e. the pilot) is difficult enough as it is, but then sitting STILL for hours upon end... boy, that's where I start getting antsy. But wherever you're going, and however many times you've flown, here are some thoughts you've likely had at some point along the journey.
1. Please don't be a middle seat please don't be a middle seat please don't be a... shit.
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2. Does he seriously not realize he keeps elbowing me like hello, the armrest is a barrier, not a guideline.
I, too, would like to spread my arms out but we can't have everything we want, sir.
3. Someday I shall be rich and professional and sit in the front of the plane...
But, alas, today is not that day.
4. It's so freaking hot on this plane and I have on 5 too many layers.
*takes off some and stores above head*
5. *2 hours later* Why is it FREEZING? Where did I store that free blanket again?
Much better.
6. Which movie is entertaining, long but not too long, and also not gonna make me self-conscious about my choice when the people next to me see what I picked?
7. On that note, what the HECK are they watching?
8. Time for the "guess that passport" game (alternatively used with "guess that accent")
9. How is this plane even in the air right now?
On second thought, I'd rather not know.
10. As much as I enjoy random small talk with the stranger next to me, there's a reason I was taking my headphones out of my bag...
11. Is it snack time yet?
12. I’ll just check the map real quick to see how far we are... 5 HOURS LEFT? But it was 5 hours and 20 minutes the last time I checked!!
I really need to stop checking.
13. How long is my determination not to interact with the people next to me in order to get out of my seat gonna last? Or more simply stated, how many hours does it take for my bladder to explode?
14. If I slouch will that help me fall asleep? What if I just drop my chin on my chest and let my head bobble as the plane jerks? Or use my meal table? Is there a method to this whole sleeping whilst flying thing?
15. Should we clap when we land? Is that a thing?
Why did they just do that? I mean navigating a plane safely might as well be like performing an operation correctly but we don’t clap for that, do we?
16. HOLY HECK WE’RE FINALLY LANDING!
God bless ye fine pilots of the world - I don't know how you do what you do but you never cease to amaze me and get me where I need to be and that's all I can ask for.
17. But wait... now I have to wait for all these people ahead of me to grab their bugs and GTFO... er I mean, get off this plane.
18. Guess it could be worse though...
