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Thoughts We All Had During The Premiere Of The Walking Dead

“Look at my dirty girl!" Alright, time to kink shame.

Lisa Stevens

Oct 24, 2016

Northern Michigan University

Thoughts We All Had During The Premiere Of The Walking Dead

The season premiere of The Walking Dead started last night, and boy was it a doozy. Here's my play by play reaction.

No major spoilers below!

I’m not ready.
Omg no. IM NOT READY. I AM NOT. READY.
Just show me who it was. Just tell me. Rip off the band-aid.
Please not Glenn. Let it be Abraham. (Sorry, no offense, Abe)
Please not Daryl. Listen. I’m not ready for this.
Not ready. Not ready. Omg. No. JUST SHOW ME.

<title sequence>
Really? A commercial break? Already? Now?
Listen here, John Winchester. I know you’ve had a rough go, but c’mon, man.
This is some kind of weird power play stuff.
Seriously just tell me who he killed.
Wow, what a jerk.
This flashback stuff needs to not.
<Makes fun of Negan’s ‘this is mine’>
Wow, this guy is just. The Umbridge of this show.
My hands are sweating.
Well it wasn’t you, I don’t even know what your name is.
Stop. Stop it. JUST. TELL ME.
I’m nervous. I’m so nervous. This is it.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? ANOTHER COMMERCIAL BREAK????
OKAY FOREALL THIS TIME.
Here it goes.
WHO JUST TEXTED ME I DON’T CARE.
Omg. My heart is pounding here we go.
This is it.
I’m so scared.
I’m screaming.
I CALLED IT. I CALLED IT OMG.
STOP. HES DEAD. JUST STOP. STOP. STOP STOP STOP STOP TOSPTS.
“Look at my dirty girl!” Time to kink shame.
Homeboy. You need to relax.
Crud. Daryl if you just killed someone else.
DARYL I SWEAR TO GOD.
OMG NO
<Lots of swearing, some indistinct screaming>
You know what else is screwed up, buddy? You.
Listen. If you just leave their bodies there I’m going to be so mad.
Oh, that’s a mental image I didn’t quite need, but is quite funny to have. Those eggs.
Negan what more do you want me to suffer through.
I’m just kind of like, if I were Rick. Just at this point, screw it. Make it end.
If you make Rick hurt Carl.
IF YOU CUT OFF. HIS DANG ARM.
LISTEN I KNOW CARL WAS A TURD FOR A WHILE BUT HE JUST NEEDS TO STOP. HE DOESN’T NEED TO SUFFER MORE. HE LITERALLY JUST GOT HIS EYEBALL BLOWN OUT.
I’m so triggered right now.
Rick, take one for the team.
neGAN.
JUST CUT YOUR OWN ARM OFF RICK.
Omg that snot bubble.
I’m sorry I can’t. I'm cracking up.
Carl.
Rick. I’m giving you a hug. Omg.
I’m so stressed out.
I don’t trust him. He’s going to do something still.
It’s not over.
“Today was a productive damn day!” Me, when I get a lot of stuff done.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO DARYL.
I’m so sorry, Maggie.
LISTEN DON’T TORTURE ME LIKE THIS.
THIS IS NOT OKAY.
THIS IS NOT OKAY.
I'm so mad.

This episode, though. Holy wow. 10/10. I'm not sure if it's 10/10 would recommend or 10/10 never turning on the TV again. Damn, AMC. Make us trust you. Why do you hate us?

What did you think of last night's episode? Are you still going to watch it, or are you too betrayed by tonight's deaths?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Thoughts We All Had During The Premiere Of The Walking Dead

“Look at my dirty girl!" Alright, time to kink shame.

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#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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