The season premiere of The Walking Dead started last night, and boy was it a doozy. Here's my play by play reaction.

No major spoilers below!

I’m not ready.
Omg no. IM NOT READY. I AM NOT. READY.
Just show me who it was. Just tell me. Rip off the band-aid.
Please not Glenn. Let it be Abraham. (Sorry, no offense, Abe)
Please not Daryl. Listen. I’m not ready for this.
Not ready. Not ready. Omg. No. JUST SHOW ME.

<title sequence>
Really? A commercial break? Already? Now?
Listen here, John Winchester. I know you’ve had a rough go, but c’mon, man.
This is some kind of weird power play stuff.
Seriously just tell me who he killed.
Wow, what a jerk.
This flashback stuff needs to not.
<Makes fun of Negan’s ‘this is mine’>
Wow, this guy is just. The Umbridge of this show.
My hands are sweating.
Well it wasn’t you, I don’t even know what your name is.
Stop. Stop it. JUST. TELL ME.
I’m nervous. I’m so nervous. This is it.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? ANOTHER COMMERCIAL BREAK????
OKAY FOREALL THIS TIME.
Here it goes.
WHO JUST TEXTED ME I DON’T CARE.
Omg. My heart is pounding here we go.
This is it.
I’m so scared.
I’m screaming.
I CALLED IT. I CALLED IT OMG.
STOP. HES DEAD. JUST STOP. STOP. STOP STOP STOP STOP TOSPTS.
“Look at my dirty girl!” Time to kink shame.
Homeboy. You need to relax.
Crud. Daryl if you just killed someone else.
DARYL I SWEAR TO GOD.
OMG NO
<Lots of swearing, some indistinct screaming>
You know what else is screwed up, buddy? You.
Listen. If you just leave their bodies there I’m going to be so mad.
Oh, that’s a mental image I didn’t quite need, but is quite funny to have. Those eggs.
Negan what more do you want me to suffer through.
I’m just kind of like, if I were Rick. Just at this point, screw it. Make it end.
If you make Rick hurt Carl.
IF YOU CUT OFF. HIS DANG ARM.
LISTEN I KNOW CARL WAS A TURD FOR A WHILE BUT HE JUST NEEDS TO STOP. HE DOESN’T NEED TO SUFFER MORE. HE LITERALLY JUST GOT HIS EYEBALL BLOWN OUT.
I’m so triggered right now.
Rick, take one for the team.
neGAN.
JUST CUT YOUR OWN ARM OFF RICK.
Omg that snot bubble.
I’m sorry I can’t. I'm cracking up.
Carl.
Rick. I’m giving you a hug. Omg.
I’m so stressed out.
I don’t trust him. He’s going to do something still.
It’s not over.
“Today was a productive damn day!” Me, when I get a lot of stuff done.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO DARYL.
I’m so sorry, Maggie.
LISTEN DON’T TORTURE ME LIKE THIS.
THIS IS NOT OKAY.
THIS IS NOT OKAY.
I'm so mad.

This episode, though. Holy wow. 10/10. I'm not sure if it's 10/10 would recommend or 10/10 never turning on the TV again. Damn, AMC. Make us trust you. Why do you hate us?

What did you think of last night's episode? Are you still going to watch it, or are you too betrayed by tonight's deaths?