Last night, I decided to watch a movie. I chose one that I had only heard good reviews of and that I hoped would be a good pick-me-up. Little did I know what I had gotten myself into....
Please be aware, there are spoilers ahead for the Dreamworks movie "Trolls"!
1. Alright. I've had a million good reviews for this one, it can't be that terrible.
2. Then again, those reviews were all from humans under 10 years of age.
3. Ok, lots of colors seems to be a theme.
4. Why am I watching this?
5. TROLLSTICE?! That's dark!
6. Okay, apparently being over weight and homely makes you a depressed evil thing...
7. ...That apparently eats trolls to feel happiness. Obviously they are sending a message that binge eating is bad.
8. I was told they fart glitter.
9. Oh, hey, that's the Pitch Perfect chick's voice.
10. The trolls all have gapped-teeth.
11. Is that thing supposed to be a llama or a giraffe?
12. Hug time reminds me when a counselor once told me that everyone requires 12 hugs a day.
13. OH MY LANTA THEY DO FART GLITTER!!
14. Why would he throw open a casket with a dead troll in it?! OMG children watch this!!
15. ...Why does that troll have glitter on their face?!
16. Oh, snap! Fireworks will always be a bad idea.
17. I wish my hair was as strong as theirs. And grow whenever I wanted.
18. Nothing's Impossible!!
19. Okay, so JT is a shut-in troll that will obviously be the unsung hero.
20. ...And is a doomsday prepper, apparently.
21. These colors are so saturated!!
22. The gapped teeth are really bugging me. It's as bad as watching Tom Cruise with his centered tooth.
23. Alright, other than the dark plot, this movie is super cute and upbeat!
24. Wait- was she crawling through intestines?! I'm so confused.
25. Fun Fact: Troll hives are blue.
26. Troll Spiders are oddly cute in a really creepy way.
27. Yes, we knew the doomsday shut-in would join the team.
28. They scrapbook! With pop-ups! That's so adorable!
29. More glitter on the face?! Oh no....
30. Alright, doomsday shut-in
31. I might need to buy the soundtrack.
32. A cloud is walking and talking. What were the writers' smoking?!
33. The cloud is kind of creepy now that I look at him.
34. I'm going to have to use these fist-bump ideas! "Gear shift!!"
35. OMG THE CLOUD JUST WET HIMSELF!!
36. Gorillaz in a kids movie?! Heck to the yes!!
37. Spicy Tuna Troll?!
38. Seriously, though, I want to know what kind of conditioner Trolls use.
39. Seriously, "your first time should be special"?
40. Wait.... who is this person singing? Only one with feelings?
41. Trolls are so cute when they dance and sing!
42. I think I just saw Troll butt cheek.
43. Now I want to scrapbook.
44. Do the twins come as action figures?They're my favorite so far.
45. "Singing killed my Grandma", dude.
46. "Hair we go!"
47. Oh, yes, the classic "you have to make yourself better to get noticed by a boy" message.
48. I sucked at roller skating. That's why I never had a birthday party at Rollerrama.
49. Now I want to watch My Super Psycho Sweet 16.
50. I wonder if I can get it streaming.
51. Oh, now they're being guilt tripped into helping the poor ugly purple Bergen.
52. I'm really appreciating the musical selections.
53. Why is Russel Brand always playing a douche?
54. Did she just go gray-scale?
55. I understand all of the color saturation now.
56. Even their fire looks like their hair. That's kind of cool.
57. I will admit, I started dancing, too.
58. OKAY, SERIOUSLY that cloud is creepy in the best way possible!!
All in all, I thought it was a cute movie, even if it had some seriously dark undertones and obvious self-righteous messages. The music was fabulous, with great voice actors, and it really held my interest with its bright color scheme. I think this movie may be on my repertoire from now on.
