The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is one of the busiest travel days of the year, and the airport is its own little battlefield during this time. Long lines or angry, impatient people, luggage everywhere, and of course the crying baby on your four-hour flight. The airport during the Holidays is not for the faint hearted, and these are some thoughts that we've all had while in the airport.
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1. Why is the security line so freaking long?
The line is always three miles long and seems to be at standstill when you have 20 minutes before you board. You're ready, you have your shoes untied, laptop out of your bag and ticket and ID in hand. But the thousand people in front of you do not seem to be in any hurry to get organized like yourself.
And this doesn't only apply to the security line, it's the line for the bathroom, the line to get coffee, the line to get the headphones that you forgot at home but are essential to your flight...
2. Why is the only time there isn't a line when you're three hours early to your flight?
We've all wondered why the airport is packed when you're terrified to miss your flight, but when you have ample time or you have a layover? There are no lines and the airport is empty. Is this karma? Did I do something?
3. This place is a maze.
Have you ever been in an airport that must have been modeled after a corn maze? (Cough, cough, O'Hare). You're just trying to get yourself a bagel in the 20 minutes that you have before it's your turn to board and you find yourself 10 minutes away in a section of stores that just sells designer dog collars, men's suits, and Crocs. Where am I? Why can I not find food? Is this a food desert? Will I find my way back to my gate? Who knows.
4. Why didn't I go to college closer to home?
This is a thought that every college student has while making the journey home for the holidays or any other occasion. While we are thrilled to go home and see our families and eat real food, we wonder why in the world we decided to be a plane ride away from home so that we have to deal with this airport madness.
5. Is it sanitary to take off my shoes?
All of us low-key fear our feet touching the floor. Forgetting to wear socks to the airport is an internal meltdown. Even if you're not a germaphobe at all, this still grosses you out.
6. I could be a flight attendant.
You look at the flight attendants in their uniforms, jetting around the country for their jobs, only having to tell people to put their tray tables in the upright and locked position and do a safety demonstration that nobody really watches anyway. What a cool life they must lead. Except for when you have to deal with a situation like in "Bridesmaids," not chill.
7. On a similar note, why is it a huge deal to have my chair reclined 1/8th of an inch while we land?
Realistically it only reclines the tiniest amount (unless the person in front of you puts their chair back, then it feels like your personal space has been invaded), but how does this recline affect our landing? Why do they get so aggressive about it?
8. I LOVE MOVING WALKWAYS.
I feel like an eight-year-old child admitting this, but I LOVE moving walkways. I know I can't be the only one. You feel like you're walking at superhuman speed and it's freaking awesome. You feel like Dash from "The Incredibles" or something.
9. How many Starbucks are there in one place?
Seriously, they're around every corner. I think there are more of them than actual gates in this airport.
10. Crap did I leave my [insert item that isn't allowed in your carry-on] in my bag?
The moment of panic that you accidentally left a pair of scissors or a bottle of water or other forbidden item in your backpack/carry-on as it's going through the machine. Even though you probably didn't leave anything of note to TSA in there, you're still panicking that they are going to rip apart your bag and pat you down.
11. Don't beep, don't beep, don't beep.
Even though you're just wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt, you're somehow still worried that the machine will go off and you'll have to stop and wait for TSA to check and everyone behind you in line will look at you like you're an idiot.
13. Why do people bring bags that are obviously too big to be carry-ons?
When checking in for a flight online they make you check a box that agrees that you won't bring a bag that's bigger than allowed carry-on size. But for some reason, people do this anyway and the entrance to the plane is crowded with people as well as gate-checked bags, or you can't fit your very reasonably sized carry-on into the overhead bin near your seat because someone had to bring a monstrous bag. You have to resort to putting your bag in the back of the plane and you have to retrieve it after your flight.
14. Why are there no outlets?
When your phone is on 23 percent and you're panicking because there is absolutely no way you'll survive this flight without music or the games on your phone/computer, and there are absolutely no outlets in sight. You end up venturing three gates down to find an open one where you have to sit on the floor next to your phone.
15. Why are there absolutely no seats at my gate?
You just want to put your carry-on down and sit down before your flight but there are absolutely no seats at your gate. You wonder why they have about 25 seats for a 75-person flight. You're forced to sit nowhere near your gate and be so very paranoid that you're going to miss your boarding call and be left behind.
16. Oh, because people are taking up four seats for their giant carry-ons (see 12 and 15).
Also because people feel the need to have giant carry-ons that could possibly fit their small child inside it and put them on the seat surrounding them so absolutely no one can sit down comfortably near said gate.
There are many ways your airport experience can go wrong. Let's all try to stay positive and be patient this holiday season. Safe travels everyone!
