3. I wish I learned how to date sooner. | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
relationships

13 Thoughts A Man Ponders When He's Single In His Mid-To-Late 20s

It's important to take time to rejuvenate and refill. It's too easy to forget that because men are told that they should suck it up and keep going.

1074
13 Thoughts A Man Ponders When He's Single In His Mid-To-Late 20s

Dating is something that doesn't come naturally to every man out there. In fact, some never master it at all, while others get it down pat like learning how to walk. There are people who date as though their life depends on it (me, laugh out loud) or those who couldn't give two thoughts about wanting to settle down.

Here are 13 thoughts every man experiences when he is single in his mid-to-late 20s.

1. Wow, I really suck at relationships.

If you're thinking this, I want you to be aware that you're not the only one. I know that doesn't necessarily make you feel a whole lot better, but before you can really be great at relationships, it takes being able to consistently have the hard-headedness and soft-heartedness to have the conversations with the one you want (confidence). That's probably what the hardest thing is since your confidence can easily take a big hit at the first shot to the heart. (Also because you've had enough of people telling you to suck it up. If you wish that to people you might as well be able to have it dished to you as well. Hint hint.)

2. I don't know if I'll ever be able to have a long-lasting relationship.

You think about those around you who have been in relationships for three-plus years and are younger than you, and your singleness at your current age makes you feel like you can't make it happen. It's a really sad feeling since you're also jealous of those who are making it happen. You question yourself and your ability to love a special woman the way those around you have loved their baes for a long time.

3. I wish I learned how to date sooner.

Some men in their mid-to-late 20s weren't taught how to date, where their parents didn't date each other at all. Their parents didn't show them how to be physically affectionate, or about love languages, or even how to treat a woman right. Some men have to learn this all on their own so their viewpoint of what is or isn't right is flawed.

4. I don't feel like opening up to people.

It's incredibly difficult to tell people about your struggles. Even if you have the courage to open up, you still feel like there's something weighing you down. There are people who will make you feel small for having your issues, which makes things worse than they already are.

5. I wonder if dating is even worthwhile anymore.

It might take a long time before you even think about putting yourself out there again, if ever. Sometimes you need to just have people to talk to, regardless of whether or not you want to date them.

6. I'm a prude.

It's just so easy to self-deprecate and look at all your shortcomings when you've struggled at something for long enough. On the other hand, it's important to remind yourself that these are learning experiences, no matter how hard they are for you to face head-on.

7. I'm not really a man.

This is more of the self-deprecating nature that a lot of people resort to. Those who are in their mid-to-late 20s and are single probably feel like they've failed in some way since they believe in deadlines with regard to dating.

8. I'm not dateable anymore.

Even though the 25-30 age range is still a prime dating age for men, some of them have tried time and time again for years without much success, and it feels like they've burnt out. It's important to take time to rejuvenate and refill. It's too easy to forget that because men are told that they should suck it up and keep going. Especially from those closest to them (family).

9. I'm better off on my own anyway.

This is perceived as a sign of giving up, or a sign of self-love. It's sad to see people giving up on finding love at a ripe age of 25 and you don't even have to experience multiple relationships to feel that way. You could have close family tell you certain things and condition you to believe them, making it harder to be vulnerable with beautifully-hearted people of the kind you're attracted to. It's hard for you to see that for whatever reason.

10. I have to act differently to get what I want.

In your mind, whatever you've been doing hasn't worked, so if you tried to be nice without any kind of physical contact, you changed things to really initiate physical contact / gentle flirting / physical touch / etc., to try to succeed. You feel like your life depends on it since you're trying to do anything to stand out.

11. I'm not going to try to date for a long time.

This ties into some of the earlier ones described, but this is a good measure to take for your own heart and to make yourself feel whole again. Whatever this is, just do it. Step away from the game a bit since it's playing you like a violin.

12. God said "not now."

You don't have to believe in God, but if you believe in Him, you've probably received some sign that He has something better in mind for you.

13. I will make it through this.

It's really hard to, but this is the push that you need to keep on going. God's with you, your friends are with you, and whomever you feel close to is supporting you. Believing in you. Loving you. Even if you struggle with it.

Being single is incredibly difficult, just like a relationship is. There are people that want to be in your position, even though you feel like you hate it. Just remember that your feelings are valid, first and foremost. Remember that there are people who have your back, and that you don't need to rush. You have every right to make yourself whole, and to take the measures you need to be happy and healthy. That's how the relationship you desire should be like, and because you're trying to chase happiness and good health, it's something you don't currently have. Find a way to build that up away from the dating game, and also build up your confidence during that time.

Trust the process you believe in, whether that's God's plan or some other plan. You shouldn't have to feel like doubting yourself time and time again. You should feel like you're able to open your life to those who deserve to be around you, and free the demons from your heart and head. You're going to get through this.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

28 Daily Thoughts of College Students

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

615
group of people sitting on bench near trees duting daytime

I know every college student has daily thoughts throughout their day. Whether you're walking on campus or attending class, we always have thoughts running a mile a minute through our heads. We may be wondering why we even showed up to class because we'd rather be sleeping, or when the professor announces that we have a test and you have an immediate panic attack.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Great Christmas Movie Debate

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

1968
The Great Christmas Movie Debate
Mental Floss

One staple of the Christmas season is sitting around the television watching a Christmas movie with family and friends. But of the seemingly hundreds of movies, which one is the star on the tree? Some share stories of Santa to children ("Santa Claus Is Coming to Town"), others want to spread the Christmas joy to adults ("It's a Wonderful Life"), and a select few are made to get laughs ("Elf"). All good movies, but merely ornaments on the Christmas tree of the best movies. What tops the tree is a movie that bridges the gap between these three movies, and makes it a great watch for anyone who chooses to watch it. Enter the timeless Christmas classic, "A Christmas Story." Created in 1983, this movie holds the tradition of capturing both young and old eyes for 24 straight hours on its Christmas Day marathon. It gets the most coverage out of all holiday movies, but the sheer amount of times it's on television does not make it the greatest. Why is it,
then? A Christmas Story does not try to tell the tale of a Christmas miracle or use Christmas magic to move the story. What it does do though is tell the real story of Christmas. It is relatable and brings out the unmatched excitement of children on Christmas in everyone who watches. Every one becomes a child again when they watch "A Christmas Story."

Keep Reading...Show less
student thinking about finals in library
StableDiffusion

As this semester wraps up, students can’t help but be stressed about finals. After all, our GPAs depends on these grades! What student isn’t worrying about their finals right now? It’s “goodbye social life, hello library” time from now until the end of finals week.

1. Finals are weeks away, I’m sure I’ll be ready for them when they come.

Keep Reading...Show less
Christmas tree
Librarian Lavender

It's the most wonderful time of the year! Christmas is one of my personal favorite holidays because of the Christmas traditions my family upholds generation after generation. After talking to a few of my friends at college, I realized that a lot of them don't really have "Christmas traditions" in their family, and I want to help change that. Here's a list of Christmas traditions that my family does, and anyone can incorporate into their family as well!

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

The 5 Phases Of Finals

May the odds be ever in your favor.

2571
Does anybody know how to study
Gurl.com

It’s here; that time of year when college students turn into preschoolers again. We cry for our mothers, eat everything in sight, and whine when we don’t get our way. It’s finals, the dreaded time of the semester when we all realize we should have been paying attention in class instead of literally doing anything else but that. Everyone has to take them, and yes, unfortunately, they are inevitable. But just because they are here and inevitable does not mean they’re peaches and cream and full of rainbows. Surviving them is a must, and the following five phases are a reality for all majors from business to art, nursing to history.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments