Square

This is a square. Pretty standard stuff. Four 90 degree corners that add up to 360 degrees. I have mad appreciation for the amount of symmetry that is taking place right here. Individual squares are pretty sweet, but when 500 of the same size are clustered together (a.k.a. grids) I start to think of bathrooms and American Apparel, both of which a bit overwhelming. So let’s stick to this one square. I really love it. Corners can be either scary or very calming, depending on what’s going on around ya. Murderer in front of you? No thanks. But within reason, you also don’t have to worry about the whole 270 degrees that go on behind your corner. Using mathematical logic, there’s a greater probability (3/4 chance) that a murderer would be roaming around the outer 270 degrees. This makes squares pretty safe. A common critique of the square though, is that it’s too safe, to the degree of boring, which brings me to my next shape.

Isosceles Trapezoid

Oh yeah. Isosceles trapezoid is a bad boy. I’m talking leather jackets in the Summer, complaining about not being old enough to get a tattoo of The Money Store album art to wear on his meat sleeve of a wrist, and being really bad at math. The bad at math part being particularly noteworthy because, despite appearing very complex next to his shape counterparts, he’s actually pretty normie. I recognize the complexity of the following image- math is kinda crazy- but stay with me on this.

If you can glean anything from this image, let it be that he’s just a square hidden by some right triangles, which is only a slightly more complex shape than the square anyway. The isosceles trapezoid is, for this reason, pretty transparent. You can see how prepared all of his moves are from a mile away. So honestly, this guy’s kinda dumb. Don't let his quick wit fool you; his one-liners are all memorized. Let’s move on to an underrated marvel.

Irregular Heptagon

What to say about the irregular heptagon. I look at this thing and want to cry, for all kinds of reasons. The irregular heptagon is a shape to stare at on your laptop screen at full brightness in your otherwise dark room at midnight whilst listening to "Adagio For Strings" by the London Philharmonic Orchestra. Softly weep into your great grandfather’s handkerchief- yes, you know the one- with the remaining blood stain from whenst he went to war, now brown from the ruthless decay of time. His strength embedded in the fine weavings of the cloth before you from a death’s past, you carry stories untold, shaking fingers and all. An unresting quiver upon your lip suddenly crescendos as a chill washes over you, an uncontrollable tingling that seeps under the skin, rattling bone until apexing wildly at the heart. Until it all stops. You still. Though contained to this room, be not fooled; there is a heaven above you. You’re safe here. There are memories for all colors, all shadows, all shapes- shapes! You return to the irregular heptagon, a shape you can now recall by memory alone. The planet will be okay. The universe is singing. Nobody is ashamed of you. We are all very, very proud of you. Have a beautiful day.