Is there really life after Valentine's Day? If so, how do you go on?
If you’re reading this, it’s most likely February 15, aka the day after Valentine ’s Day… or it’s really late into Valentine’s Day, so the misery for many has commenced.
What I mean by misery is the countless pictures people, single, taken, married, eating Pringles, posing with dogs, have plastered over on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. In the past 24 hours we have been subjected to smooching selfies, pictures of bouquets, and lots (and lots and lots) of “I love so-and-so SO much. Thank you for being my everything,” posts.
You likely feel like this.
If you remained on social media, congrats on surviving love-pocolypse. You’re a rockstar.
Oprah would be proud.
In fact, I wouldn't blame those who choose to delete their social media prior to Valentine’s Day. Go you!
Why bask in the love, the kisses, the hugs, the cheesy quotes when you can deactivate your social media and order takeout Chinese?
In my opinion, Valentine’s Day is a bunch of bull.
Hopefully, people reading this are mentally screaming, "YES. YES. ACCURATE. SHE'S ONTO SOMETHING."
And this is coming from a happily “coupled individual.” Wait, I should really have said woman… because isn’t that who Valentine’s Day is really about?
We hear it time and time again; you should be treating your significant other, every day, like it’s Valentine’s Day.That, too, is a crock of smelly, horrible, no good, rotten B.S.
If that was really the case, my boyfriend would be broke, his best friend would be a florist and our relationship would consist of unrealistic dates where I pretend to love all the food, forget that my stomach is grotesquely full and ignore the fact that I am ready to pass out into a food coma.
Basically, the whole idea sounds much better in theory than it does in practice.
So, that leaves the blissfully ignorant lovers wondering, *gasp*, “What do you do for your significant other? What does your relationship even look like?”
Let’s start off with what it shouldn’t look like because I definitely have a better grasp on this answer than I do what it should.
Your relationship should not be based off superficial, materialistic gift-love. In non-philosophical terms, this means you should not be living on the anticipation of receiving jewelry, chocolates, fluffy, drugstore stuffed animals and wine when these invented holidays emerge from the dark shadows otherwise known as corporations and big media. And, okay, maybe you should have more wine in your relationship... but the other stuff, plain old materialistic.
What matters is that you know what your significant other likes, that you know their preferences. You know their dislikes and vice versa; they know you, or, at the very least, attempt to understand you. Okay, maybe I slightly know what healthy relationships look like, so I suppose I can continue:
Remember how I said superficial gift-love? I purposefully added that qualifier. Gift-love in itself is not a bad thing. C.S. Lewis would agree. (If you haven’t read his works, get on it, especially, “The Four Loves.” It explains the four types of love and just how complex they all are.)
Anyways, you can want to give someone something with no expectation of anything in return and this is gift-love. In fact, the idea of another person giving something in exchange would repulse you because that would mean your relationship is based on exchanges, when, in fact, the best kind of gifts are those given with no expectation of receiving anything in return.
So, Valentine's Day, the holiday meant to guilt-trip the crap out of oh so many people in our culture, thrives off the idea of giving and getting different forms of gifts: food, puppies, flowers and more.
My solution?
Do something nice on Valentine's Day... for yourself, for your spouse, for your boyfriend/girlfriend, for your mom, dad, brother or sister, for your friend.
But don't forget to do those nice things throughout the year. Surprise your mom with lunch at work because you know she didn't have time to pack one. Help your dad with mowing, or shoveling snow (because it is still winter in some places). Surprise your boyfriend with coffee and his favorite donut... and do it just because.
Stop comparing your love, your relationships, with those you see plastered all over social media. Instead of boasting or bragging about your good deeds or the wonderful things you gave or received, appreciate those special people in your life for who they are, what they are, and what they give you on a daily basis besides chocolates, cards, and material items. Enjoy every day that you get to wake up and spend time with these incredible people.
Lastly, if you have the time, BE SURE TO HIT UP EVERY DRUG STORE - POST VALENTINE'S DAY. If there's one thing made-up holidays are good for, it's all the cheap things you can purchase AFTER the fake holiday. Buy the clearance chocolate, perfume and stuffed animals. Give them out to these special people.... keep some for yourself, even.
