“FIIIIRRRSSSTTT!!!!”

Every comments section has that one annoying person who feels the need to share with the world that they were the first to view the content above. I wish that I could approach “first” things with the same confidence and enthusiasm as these commenters.

Firsts are often associated with failure. The first time a baby walks, they are inevitably going to faceplant within seconds. We often comfort someone learning a new skill with a “Not bad… for your first time.” YouTubers film themselves watching their first videos, and they cringe at how awful it was, thinking of all the things they wish they knew at the time.

I just had a birthday and I received a journal from my grandmother. It’s covered in green leather and filled with pristine white pages. I can’t bring myself to write in it for the first time. I feel like the first thing I write will set the tone for the entire book, and so it needs to be something I will continue working on until it is full, or else something profound that will inspire me every time I open it. By setting the bar so high, I know I’m setting myself up to fail, because when I don’t begin magnificently, I’ll feel like I’ve spoiled the whole thing.

The fact of the matter is that at any given moment, you only have a certain amount of ability. You are never as good at something as you will be some day. You can’t judge your talents through the eyes of your future self. All you can do is ask, “Is what I am creating of a good quality based on where I am right now?” When I come back to this, my first article here, I can’t expect that I’ll be satisfied with the content, but I can hopefully say that based on where I was at the time, it was a good effort.

So, here is my first article. This is the best I have to offer right now. I’m not going to overthink it. I’m just going to do my best to write the first one so I can move on to the second and the third, etc., so I can get better at it. After all, if you cringe at your old content, that means you’ve improved since then, which was always the point. So here’s to cringeworthy firsts that lead to something better.