At the point of this being written, I am sitting here recovering from being sick for nearly an entire week. However I am still so excited to begin the last phase of my senior year of college. Wow, just saying that doesn't even feel real. I remember what I wore my first day of second semester freshman year. I am just so extremely excited to begin the last phase of my college journey. Not because I hate it and am ready to leave, it's the complete opposite. I loved my run in college and am sad to leave but I don't feel incomplete - I feel complete with the decisions I made and I feel like I've done it all in these last four years. It's just the best feeling in the world to not feel like you've missed out. I don't feel like I missed out on anything. I've been able to do it all over the last few years. When I left high school, I didn't feel this way; in fact, I felt like I completely wish I could've redone it all. I didn't feel complete. In high school I didn't know what I wanted or who I really was till it was too late. When I did know what I wanted, I lacked the ability to make those dreams come true. This time will be different. I've been waiting for so long to feel this way. To feel like I've successfully completed something and I can really celebrate all my experiences. I can look back at this part of my life and feel so good about it.
When I look back at my senior year of high school and compare it to now, it's really different but I feel the same in a good way. However I will say the decisions I made then were being made almost subconsciously while now they're definitely being made more obviously. The decisions to be happy and enjoy this and appreciate my last hurrah. Before I was 17 and just figuring out those decisions and now I'm actually making them on my own. I think now being 21, I have a whole lot more control on my life and what I want to do. I know anyone who has read my articles over the last couple of years know that my college graduation is what I've been waiting for. I had the worst possible high school graduation anyone could ever have. I was never able to appreciate or celebrate my moment. The people in my life honestly acted like I didn't even graduate and it really was a weird feeling. I know it wasn't on purpose but it was just not okay. I finally have the chance to the senior year and graduation I've always wanted. I have the power to make sure that isn't gonna this time. The reality is I was given a second chance. College was my second chance. I'm not letting my senior year and the whole summer after go to waste. My senior year will be everything I want. My grades, my experiences and I will get everything I want out of this next few months. This is my last chance to be a "kid" and be this young and this happy in this state of my life as a college student. College has been a dream for me and I can't wait to enjoy the rest of this journey.
