If I would’ve told myself a year ago that I’d be living away from my parents, have a new car, work two jobs and have a dog of my own I wouldn’t have believed it. There was no way that many things could change in a year -- right?
Well. Obviously not.
Here I am, 19, a full-time college student with a busy schedule and crazy life. As I write this, I am sitting at the dining room table watching a show on Netflix. My dog, Khaleesi, is sleeping in her kennel which I am sitting next to -- this is the only solution I have found for her incessant whining and barking. It’s 10 p.m. and I am ecstatic because my alarm isn’t set for 7 in the morning.
It feels slightly surreal, like I’ve been dreaming for months. I’m not sure if that sensation will ever go away. But I have begun to realize some of the benefits and downfalls that come with living in the real world.
Positive #1:
Getting to do what you want, when you want
When I was living with my parents, I would have to OK every plan I made with them. “Can I spend the night at this person’s house” or “Is it OK if these people come over” were questions I dreaded to ask. I had to have plans figured out to the finest detail, from the times and dates to people and activities.
This is extremely different from what happens now.
When I first moved to college last August, I found myself meeting people and making plans on whims. I would stay at the guy dormitories until 2 in the morning playing video games, buying chocolate milk at 3 AM, muttering “My parents would kill me for this" more times than I could count.
When you move out, you don’t need to ask permission for as many things. You make the plans, you choose to do them or not do them.
Negative #1:
Getting to do what you want, when you want
Yes. This can also be a negative element of moving out.
It is a lot more difficult than some people realize to convince yourself to do more than lay around and do nothing or waste your money on impromptu purchases. Having more freedom in your plan-making often leads to doing less productive things and can sometimes have a negative impact on your life. It means that you have to accept more responsibility for your actions and time.
Positive #2:
Learning how to branch out
When I was in elementary school, my teachers often talked about how quiet I was, introverted and shy. It wasn’t until later in my life that I became known as a social butterfly. I wasn’t obnoxious or extremely outgoing, but I did have friends in almost every social clique that existed.
After moving out, I live away from some of the people I considered my closest friends. In all honesty, I only talk to two people from high school on a regular basis. My college friends have all gone home for the summer and that leaves me with the task of finding new ways to socialize.
I now live with people who are a few years older than me and have lives far more mature than mine. This can be pretty intimidating -- I worry that I will seem childish or silly no matter what I do. This is paranoid of me, but still.
It takes a lot of effort for me to say yes when I am invited to something new with people I’ve never met before. Bonfires, Sheetz runs and hiking are some of the things that I’ve done, and as a result I am making new friends and memories.
Negative #2:
Is money even real?
One of the biggest struggles of moving out is, of course, the money situation. To start the list off, you have to start thinking about rent, groceries and emergency funds. I have been fortunate in my circumstances, but for most people, these three expenses alone could cost about $800 to $1,000 a month.
Yes, I have the financial safety net of my parents. This relieves a bit of the stress, but at the same time it feels like a burden in and of itself. I feel like a freeloader, only because I have taken the step of moving out and by not being 100% independent it feels fake.
I have two part time jobs now. This coming weekend I am scheduled to work 37 hours between them, and let me just say -- I don’t do it for the fun of it.
Positive #3
Having new experiences
A few days ago, I made the decision to rescue a dog from our local humane society. When I told my parents I bought a dog, they were shocked and peeved (to put it mildly). I have taken on the responsibility of training and taking care of all her expenses for the rest of her life, which, for a college student, is a pretty risky move. However, I know I’ll figure out a way to make it work. I think she’s worth the risk.
I now have the responsibility and complete control of choosing how my bedroom is set up. No more “Clean that pigsty!” to annoy me when I say I’m going to sleep, no one asking when I’m going to finish painting the walls. It is quite literal when I say I made my bed, and now I have to lie in it.
Final positive and negative:
Learning a thing or two about appreciation
When I was in high school all I wanted was to move out. I whined about how my parents drove me crazy, how I wanted to be on my own, that I couldn’t wait for my future.
I believe that I now have the best relationship with my parents that I’ve ever had. We don’t argue over the small things -- there isn’t tension every night around the dinner table. When I have time and want to, I go visit them. It’s always good to see the family (even though they’re vegans now) and in a way refreshing. It’s like I know that no matter where I go, Hilltop will always be there.
My pride twitches as I type this, but I have to admit; I never realized how good I had it until leaving home.
It was stable and reliable. There was rarely a time when I was anxious because of life. I now appreciate the people more because I see them less. I appreciate the simple pleasures that my family at home enjoy. My appreciation for financial stability is immense.
But all in all, I appreciate the lessons I have learned and continue to learn on this journey I am traveling.
